Thursday, April 21, 2005

Again, with the Maine Love

Simply put, the man is a god.

He is also a soon to be father, and was comtemplating the actions a father should take in one of four dating scenerios.

The last one struck a nerve.

"Scenario Four:
Daughter is 21. She tells me that she has fallen in love with a woman and wants to spend the rest of her life with her in wonderful, Constitutionally-outlawed bliss.

Rejected Plans:
1. Give a shit.
2. Remind her that I want grandchildren.
3. Break a sweat.

Plan of Action:
Slap her a high-five and buy my wife a magical unicorn in celebration. If my daughter is a lesbian, I’m a happy guy. I believe that, more often than not, men are assholes, and I’d rather not have my daughter roll the dice with one. Plus, if he ever hit her, I’d have to drive to his house and cook him with my flamethrower, and, really, gasoline is too expensive for that kind of stuff. Is that weird?"

Beautiful. Simply Beautiful.


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