Just Another Day in the Office...
My Current Mood:


Today is going to be interesting. I had an interview today for a promotion to another department. I really wanted to wear jeans, but noooo, I have to dress up and wear heels. Have I ever told you how much I HATE heels? I kicked those suckers off as soon as I could….

This is the second go-around for the same job. A couple of people were promoted out of the department, so another position opened up. The first go around, I made it to the second interviews, but lost out to a guy I affectionately nicknamed “Sparky”. He is a tall, skinny, bespeckled, LDS, tie-wearing-everyday, no-talking-to-anyone kind of guy. This is gonna sound horrible, but his family pictures that are displayed on his desk look like something from a backwoods Arkansas family reunion. He is nice, don’t get me wrong, but he is just a little “off”. I also affectionately call him the “Pecker” due to his typing style… two fingers… hunt-n-peck…

I also have a girlfriend here at work. Not a girlfriend girlfriend (although… just kidding, honey). M and I are growing closer everyday, she cracks me up. I try and add a little humor to her day when I can and she watches my back. She and Lorene used to work together… M is a wild child.

So, today, our conversation went something like this. I thought it was funny, you may be bored…

First, some background. Utah is Mormon country. Both M and I are non-mormon, which can lend itself to some interesting situations. Devote Mormons who attend temple services wear church approved undergarments, called garments, garmies, Jesus Jammies… This state is very white, male and mormon. Not a good thing for me at times.

Oh, and Friday is treat day in my department. I smuggle treats to M every Friday. I am such a rebel.

’~``**~*~.’~`’~``**~*`*~~**~*~..’~``**~*’~``**~*’~``**~*’~``**~*

Me: I got 3 hours of sleep last nite, I am wearing shoes that I hate, my hair looks like shit and I am REALLY not having a good day. But, how are YOU?

We have muffins. Want me to sneak you one?

M: Well honey.. It's ONLY work, you’re going to do fine. Muffin.... no thanks.

Me: Are you sure? There’s blueberry, choc choc chip and some sort of funky cherry cordial…

M: Okay, blueberry.

(two minutes later…)

M: That is a damn good muffin!!! Thanks

Me: welcome!! The choc choc chip rocks. I am basically having chocolate cake for breakfast. God Bless America.

M: Your funny.....

Me: when's your first interview today? 9?

M: Nope.. you

Me: whut whoo!! how lucky are YOU?? I am wondering... are dress pants dressy enough? I was gonna wear my Daisy Dukes, but I thought Sparky might get a little excited...

M: Very. Gggggrrrrrrrrrr

Me: AND me, white trash hoochie mama, don't wanna wear shoes. Can't forget the white trash part. I am pretty proud of that... Did you see the blonde streaks I put in my hair?

M: White trash.. whatever.... And you are not a hoochie mama.
No I didn’t notice the blonde streaks.

Me: *sniff* See if I color my hair to please you again... I try and I try... this relationship is going NO WHERE...

Did you hear what happened to J? The girl had a heart attack on Tuesday…

M: I'm such a bad bad girly friend.....

Yea J came over to me...She's all so did you hear what happened to me.. I was like ummmmm no... and I didn’t ask WHAT happened.. She was like well I will tell you what happened...
Blah, blah, blah....

Me: Someone asked J where she'd been and she told us... holy crap... angio and a stent on Tues and she's back to work on Friday. She's making us all look bad.

Yea, bad girly friend. No perks for you.

M: No perks for me??????? How rude....

Me: well, okay... maybe just ONE more perk... is the 6th floor still under construction? *snicker*

M: LOL.......

Me: So, what did Sparky do now?

M: Nothing in particular.... He just annoys me....

Me: I thought he had really done something to annoy you badly... you looked like you were gonna kill him...

M: Honestly I need to have more patience with him. I just have no tolerance for SLOW, NOT TOO BRIGHT people.... I really don’t know how he got this job.

Me: Um... he's male?

M: Possibly.....

Me: And Mormon?

M: Bigger possibility.... Someone had his Jesus Jammies on when he interviewed him. His Mor-Dar (Mormon Radar) came on...

Me: Right. That what the little symbol that's embroidered on it does... it glows when you're around another Mormon. It's your Light of the Prophet...

Let's see... white, male, (imbred) Mormon, Family man... against a white, female, openly lesbian, non-mormon... yeah, I can see why he was hired.

M: LOL..... Your so damn funny.

Me: "Connie, you get the job, but you have to kill Sparky and dispose of his body before you come over to the department. It's just a formality, you understand."