Heh heh heh...
A wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman.

With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the tool shed in the back yard and put his penis in a vice. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up a hacksaw.

The husband was terrified, and screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off, are you?"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her husband's hand and said:

"Nope. You are. I'm going to set the shed on fire."
Courtsey of Bob and Tom