Thursday, April 22, 2004

Boobs, Eh?

Our lovely host has been chomping at the boobie bit this week. Begging and pleading (in a very subtle, conservative manner, of course) for her guests to give her some breasteses. And, finally, I am here to provide wondrous, double barreled support.

Let's start off with a cleavage story. Today, I was talking to a girl wearing a low cut shirt. I've known this girl since middle school. In the entire time I've known her, she has always had marvelous breasts. And this shirt was incredibly low cut. It got to the point where I would either stare her directly in the eye to talk to her or not talk to her at all, just to make sure that I wasn't...ahem...inappropriately focused.

This kind of made me mad, you know? I mean, there they were, two gorgeous boobies, just sitting there, and I couldn't even look at them! She was showing them off, right there in public, but would get offended if I stared! Very rude, if I do say so myself.

Is there a moral to this story? I guess we could make one up...How about "If you have beautiful breasteses, wear low-cut shirts (or none at all!), and then let your friends gawk desiringly." Yeah, I think that works out right.

I've actually been asked, several times, mind you, by several different girls, why guys find breasts so appealing. "Blah blah blah!" they declare. "They're just fat! Blah blah blah!" Well, a six pack is just muscle! What's so cool about that? We men are able to appreciate more than just mere muscle. We can also appreciate a perfectly rounded ball of fat that, when appropriately triggered, shoots out wee streams of lactose solution.

And you say we need to be more cultured.

Drink of the day: Milk.
CD on the Playa: Brand New - Deja Entendu


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