Friday, February 16, 2007

A Week of Weirdness and Clarity

OK. I still have a heavy heart concerning my friend. Well, actually, I have a heavy heart concerning more than one, so I think I am reaching a point in my life where the drama has become too much. I haven't seen this much un-adult like behavior since High School, and frankly, I would rather not go back there.

So, my anthem for today is to define what a friend is and what they aren't in my life and to really put energy out there to those who have given energy back to me.

1. When I apologize sincerely, there is not need to drag on and on and on about the subject or to treat me rudely. A real friend forgives and moves on, accepting the apology gracefully.

2. Not everything I do in this world is directed at someone. I do things for a reason. Recently I had an opportunity to accept a well-earned apology from an old acquaintance, which I did. My speaking to this person was for me. Me alone. It was not done viciously or disrespectfully or as a slap in the face to anyone. It was about ME. If you can't accept that, then maybe you need to take a look as to why you feel so strongly - maybe you are the one who has unresolved issues.

3. When I extend invitation after invitation to get together, which go repeatedly ignored or declined, I take it personally. When a get-together occurs and I am told about it, then not invited, I take it personally. I don't want to hear about how it was a mix up, especially when it's happened more than once. It is obvious you don't want to spend any time with me. On the other hand, I will be taking invitations from others who genuinely want to be around me and see the value of my friendship, of which there are many. My dance card will be full.

4. A friend is there in a moment's notice, not when it suits them. They are there to share both joys and sorrows and extend themselves to show they care. From now on, I will only reciprocate to those who show that energy to me. Otherwise, it's a waste of my time.

5. I am so blessed to have some real friends in my life, those who have shown so much to me and who I am happy to be around. They make me laugh and show me the real person, not the facade. I will only be around people who uplift my spirit, not drag it down. If someone drags you down, they aren't your friend.

6. Some things, and people, are better let go.

When it is all said and done, if I were to die tomorrow, I will not leave things unsaid. Those who I love know I love them. Those I have hurt know I am sorry. I have a huge heart and lots of room for lots of people. I consider myself to be a pretty good person and a good friend. And in the end, that's all that matters.


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