Thursday, May 20, 2004

Guess I'm Growing Up

Someone said something that hurt me deeply and I tried to look inside myelf and get to the bottom of it. And I realized something really important.

I'm not in High School anymore.

My opinion of myself isn't tied into what other people think of me. It isn't a ball of self image hinged on whether or not someone likes me. The only opinion that matters is mine.

So if you are one of the great many people who seemingly have been making fun of me or making jokes at my expense, or thinly veiling your sharp digs and pointed comments behind vague words, I've got news for you. Continue doing whatever you want because as of now, your opinions don't matter. You show your true colors more and more. If your love and respect is that conditional, then I don't want it or need it in my life.

I once protected people with everything. I would go to the matresses for them, so to speak. Now I see that it is not reciprocated, and in fact celebrated, when I need the same compassion. I am not your personal clown.

I give of myself freely, love openly and unconditionally. And I will continue to do so. But I am a little more wiser as to who gets that priviledge in my life now.

Thanks for the lesson.


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