Tuesday, November 23, 2004

I Hate The Holidays

I really do. I used to love them, baking and cooking and wrapping and giving gifts and the charity work and all of it. But I hate it lately.

Our December is already filled with parties and dinners. It’s not even Thanksgiving for crying out loud. It’s run here, run there, try and find time to shop and sleep and work. It’s going to be insane.

This year, my sister and I are going to cook Thanksgiving dinner for my family, since my mother hasn’t been feeling well. Okay, that’s a lie. My mother is really sick, and so is my dad. So, my sister and I split the menu and we will descend on my mother’s home for our traditional dinner.

It’s always a struggle to plan two families’ festivities, and with two family’s traditions, Lindi and I have had to try and juggle a lot. But I can feel a fight coming on. And it’s gonna be bad.

In her family, Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning is always spent with her family. Period. That will never change. So that puts my family out for a lot of the Christmas Traditions we have done, but we shrug and compromise and my family plans something later in the day and we are happy to spend it together. Lindi’s Mom gets what she wants and that’s what seems to matter.

Well, this year, when I explained that I was going to be cooking dinner for my family because my parents are ill, Lindi’s mother said, “Oh, well, we will plan around you, then. I completely understand.” I breathed a big sigh of relief. My family doesn’t have to play second fiddle for once.

I was wrong.

Lindi’s mom will be having Thanksgiving Dinner at 2 pm on Thursday. The same time my family will be having dinner. Great. Thanks a lot. So much for getting me Lindi and Sarah together to enjoy the meal I am preparing. So much for caring about my family and what we are doing. Oh, but it’s okay, because Lindi is excused to go wherever she wants, but “Sarah has to be there.”

You know what? I say bullshit! We already had plans. You don’t just come in on MONDAY and dictate what we are going to do. I don’t give a shit WHO you are! Thank God you are ABLE to cook your own Thanksgiving meal. I am sure my mother would LOVE to have that luxury. But the fact is, she doesn’t, and her daughters are going to do it for her. And the fact remains that my mother is a very ill woman who may not have very long on this earth. I refuse to treat her as a second class person for anyone.

Poor Lindi is stuck in the middle and doesn’t know what to do.

So I’ve made a decision. If Lindi’s mother can’t see her way clear to be courteous of me, then I will not be going to Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning at their home. They are MY second priority. It’s obvious I am not a member of their family if they don’t even care about how their actions affect those around them.

I am feeling very shit on right now.

I am canceling Christmas. Screw it.


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