Friday, December 07, 2007

Holiday Party

Tonight is my company party. I am really looking forward to it, but I almost feel like some yahoos have taken all the fun out of having a Holiday gathering with the people you work with.

I've been told because of the behaviour of past parties, the alcohol will be limited to two drinks per person, which is okay with me, and we received an email reminding us that our behaviour at an outside venue reflects on ths company as a whole.

I want to know exactly what happened last year that made the management afraid of having a Holiday Party - but no one is talking. Something about some chick laying across the tables, maybe showing a little more of her body than appropriate... something about a group of guys and dirty dancing... I don't know, but I wish I would have gone last year!

So, in the spirit of company parties the country through, I've posted the do's and don't of holiday partying on a corporate level.

Don't party your way to a pink slip

OK, so I read through the article and it bored me to tears, so I decided to just list the highlights... and add some of my own. See if you can guess which is the real advice.

• Pace your drinking -- or don't drink, period. Booze doesn't give you license to do anything that wouldn't be appropriate at the office between 9 and 5.

Don't be such a stiff jerk that you can't be around people who imbibe. Shoot, we didn't marry you, so you don't have to agree with our glass of wine or judge us for our beer. You could probably use a drink yourself.

• Don't hit on, and don't hit up: Don't use the party to hit on a co-worker (if things go badly, you'll live with awkwardness daily) or to hit up your boss for a promotion or raise (socializing at the event is fine, but save requests for the appropriate forum).

The only time you are really going to get your manager to listen to you is after the second round of Seven and 7's. Take it from there. But don't stick your tongue down anyone's throat. That's just tacky.

• Eat before you go. Don't assume you'll get enough ballast from whatever's served at the event.

Eat before you go. Don't assume the food that's served is even edible.

• Photos live on. Don't dance yourself into a sweaty mess or do anything else you'd cringe to relive in photo form.

Photos live on. Be sure to bring your own camera for "job advancement opportunities."

• Leave before it's obvious that you should. No one will remember that you left early, but they will remember you asleep on the coats. The top brass are usually long gone by mid-evening. Follow their example.

No one pays attention to when anyone leaves. Seriously. And if they do, they are probably just making sure no one is stuck in the bathroom.

• Can't trust yourself to get through the party without a misstep? Don't go.

Oh my hell. Are you really that much of a loser you can't go to a cocktail party? How about a wedding reception? Been to one of those?

Bottom line, have fun, don't be a jerk and get home safe. I fyou are too worried about what you look like, everyone will notice and it will be a complete waste of time and booze.


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