Thursday, October 13, 2005

Sharing the Love

A good friend of mine (read: Lorene) gave me a link yesterday that had me reading for a couple of days. I promised her I wouldn’t divulge the source of this link or even what the link is to, and I am keeping my promise to her.

I read and read and read – almost a guilty pleasure and have been engrossed by the thoughts of this website. It’s not p()rn, don’t worry. But it is almost a window into a place and time of my life I don’t remember with fondness – except for one thing: It was a defining moment in all of my friendships and relationships in my life.

It was a time I saw my friends rally around me in a way I was almost shocked to discover. It was a time I saw my partner support and honor me and my decisions. It was a time when my daughter really “became” my daughter, in the minds of my family and friends – and more importantly – for us.

And I have seen how far I have come.

I love my friends dearly, and they love me, even if we don’t get together as often as we want to or used to. I don’t feel as if I have to be included in every single little occurrence in their lives anymore to be a friend. We stay in touch as often as we can, but my life is out east, and their lives are out west and sometimes we don’t get to do everything we want. There are groups within my “group” that tend to do things more frequently together – and for the first time in a long time I look at that as normal. I don’t feel dependent on being invited to dinner or movies weekly, just like I go to dinner and movies with others and they understand, as well.

Sure, I would love to see them every weekend, but life gets in the way. At the very least, they all know that I love them and care about them and have a marvelous time when I am in their company. I miss them now and then, but that’s okay. I can have friendships with people my “core” group doesn’t care for – and it’s okay. Everything is just that – okay.

It’s almost as if I have grown to a place of security that I could not have without these trials in my life.

I have also “weeded the garden of friendship” a few times with some surprising results. I have planted new flowers that are growing beautifully, as well. A couple here at my new job, and a couple from my old job, still blooming bright with laughter and common ground.

Above all this, I have come to a point where I know this: “I am worthy.” Love, friendship, confidence, passion – all of it. I am worthy of it all.

I love you, Lindi, Sarah, Toni, Rob, Lorene, Dylan, Dee, Jeff, Jeremy, Michelle, Shane, Chet, Christopher, Teinamarie, Krysta, Deanna, D’ann, Lisa, Kris, Adam, Justin, Scott, Stephanie, Tre (and the other blog-friends who love and email and call me), and all of those who I forgot in this tirade but who have helped me find who I am.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home