Sunday, December 08, 2002

Great (And Sore) Weekend

After all the drama and trauma of the week, this weekend has been a welcome change. Thursday night, after hanging out with Lin, I stayed over at her place, finally able to sleep after what seemed like an eternity. I always sleep better when she's there.

Work was hectic on Friday, what with the Cranky Greek Man out of the office, but a lot was accomplished. That evening Lin Sarah Matt and I trotted to the Fun Dome and went bowling, played Laser Tag, Miniature Golf and just funned around. I had forgotten how much I loved bowling, and Lin (who rocks the house, since she's been bowling since she was 12) told me I was actually quite good, bowling a 97 after not bowling for four years. *happy dance*

Saturday, I picked up Sarah to take her shopping, but with a surprise detour. For Christmas, I took her to The Spa Club and we had mini-facials, a 20 minute massage and a pedicure! She was so surprised, and enjoyed every minute of it. After grabbing some Orange Chicken at Panda Express, we shopped and shopped, then headed to my place to wrap... ok, I wrapped and she slept, since she was so relaxed and soooo tired. Lin picked her up after work and they headed home, since she had to turn around and work at 5am, so I spent the night relaxing in bed (on a heating pad) and watching movies.

Today is another lazy day, paying bills, doing some online shopping, listening to Tori, writing emails, doing laundry... me things (taking a reference from Lorene about Sundays. I think it's a PERFECT idea).

I have been in a funk all week concerned about imaginary things, pretty much. I have been worried that my friends and I have been drifting apart, and I was having "being needed" issues again. Luckily for me, Lorene pointed out some obvious facts that got my train of thought back on track.

I love all my friends, and I know my energy has been sporadic at best lately. But I have decided to give what I can give and to those who have been there, through thick and thin (you know who you are). People are in a constant state of change, but essentially, the bonds that keep us together pretty much remain intact. I love my friends for so many reasons...I love the way JJ states the obvious to me, with an ever-present smirk, smile or kick in the ass, Jennifer is open and honest in all things at all times with one of the sweetest hearts I have ever seen, Dylan warms me with his sarcasm and relates to me much like a big brother, Toni's pokes and prodes and reminders of the stupid things I have done make me smile and laugh, Rob's teddy bear ways and HUGE heart, Dee's well-traveled intellegence and humor help feed my imaginative side, Jeff's wit simply makes my heart swell being in his presence, Shane just makes me giggle and blush because I so want to be just like him - out there and free, Chet's openness and instant friendship amaze me, Lorene's wings, open shoulder and enveloping arms are simply perfect, and Lindi just fills my heart with love, making me want to be a better woman.

Obviously, I can't list all my friends here, but those examples remind me of something someone once told me, which I now completely believe. Every person plays a role in your life, whether short or long, tiny or huge, intricate or delicate, and each person adds an element to who you are. I can think of a dozen people, while no longer in my life due to time, distance or falling away, who have played extremely important roles... without them, I would not be as wise, strong, loving, open, vulnerable, and spiritual as I am now. They've helped me grow.

In recognizing that, We also have the responsibility to ourselves to fulfill roles to others. I wonder, what role do I play for each of my friends? It would be interesting to know what element I have brought to their lives.

When I die, I don't want people to mourn for the life I've led, but instead be grateful that I was there, in whatever role I had, and know that I was blessed to be a part of theirs, as well.


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