Saturday, January 11, 2003

You've been dating HOW LONG?

The 6 month anniversary was a nice, and difficult, day. Dinner at Robintinos and an early night (Lindi had to work) didn't allow us to do everything we wanted, but it was great to spend time with her.
While talking on the bed with her and Sarah, the song that I had sort of "picked" for Lindi, actually sang to her and wrote in one of my first love letters to her... one I thought of as "our song", came on the CD player. So, of course, I get all mushy. Then Sarah pipes up, "Hey, Mom, isn't that Karen's song?"

I about puked.

Karen is the ex-wife, and not one I particularly care for. I stopped and looked at Lindi. She had this sort of deer in the headlights with the rifle on it's butt kind of looks. Come to find out the song I had picked was also the same song Karen had given to Lindi and considered their song. I was totally nauseated. It felt tainted, almost second hand. Lindi, my wonderful Cancer's opinion? "It's just a song, it's not how you feel about me."

OK... let me take you into the Virgo world. It is full of meaning and symbolism and songs and emotion are tied in together. When I chose this song, every word and every emotion I felt came to life when I met Lindi. There isn't another that could ever replace it. It was the song that comes on the radio and your heart stops for a moment and you think of that person and smile, imagining the last time you danced to it. It was the song that was going to play in our wedding. It was not just "a" song... it was "the" song. Hell, it was written by Bob Dylan and sang by Garth Brooks. How freakin' perfect can you get?

It took a couple hours later before I realized something very profound. Karen may have gave it to her, but I am the one who means it. I am the one who is living it, and I am the one who will be with her for the rest of her life.

So, in the end, it is "our song" regardless of her past. We are the ones it was meant for.

To Make You Feel My Love

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rollin' sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothing like me yet

There is nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love


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