Friday, March 30, 2007

French Toast

I am sitting here at my desk eating delicious French toast with bacon and thinking of the day. I've been in low moods since the funeral last night and doing everything I can to buck up and move on.

The funeral was beautiful, albeit very LDS. I was asleep for a lot of it. I was able to sit with Margaret, my long time best friends Serena and Wayne's Mom, Stephanie and her husband Shawn and Grace. Their support was amazing.

I learned a lot about Raymond. I learned that he was just as kind and gentle with others and he was with us. The fact that I never heard a bad word from his mouth was supported by his speakers and other family members. To everyone, he was just Raymond, a sweet man. He was an accomplished photographer and his photos can be found on I learned how much he loved hockey, especially the Grizzlies, and Q4U.

Stephanie almost took my breath away when she told of how Raymond drove to SUU to find her when she failed to call him when she arrived, as she promised. And her comments about him and us sitting in the garage brewing beer and talking and laughing brought tears to my eyes. I thought the roof would cave when she said beer, but it didn't. She's got some bawls, that one.

I lost it when a trio sang "Danny Boy" and when Stephanie's family friend played "Amazing Grace" on the bagpipes. And I laughed when stories were told about Raymond's trampoline (WWF wrestling with cousins, jumping off the roof, etc), jousting on the Graveyard shift using rolling chairs as shields and Raymond's crutches as jousts, and the love that everyone shared for such an amazing man.

I had been feeling so badly that I had lost touch during the worst days for him, that I couldn't be a comfort. But then I realized something. Raymond did something that hadn't been done in a very long time - he united a group of friends that had lost touch for more than 5 years. That is what Raymond would want - for us to continue keeping in touch to remember him the way he was, and to keep laughing.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

In Loving Memory

Raymond L. Brown
Gentle Giant

Raymond Lamar Brown passed away peacefully Sunday March 25, 2007 after a long hard battle with multiple physical problems.

Raymond was born to Ren and Carol Brown February 17, 1968 in Salt Lake City, Utah. He was blessed throughout his life with a good natured love of everyone. His greatest joy was giving to or helping some one else. He loved designing and editing the Avis newsletter without thought of remuneration or recognition.

Raymond never met a person who wasn't a friend. He truly subscribed to the idea of see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

He is survived by his parents, brothers, Allen - Sandy, David (Gwen) - Kanab, Curtis (Leslie) - Kirkland WA; sisters Susan Talmadge (Walt) - South Jordan and Karyn Clement - Orem. Also 12 nieces and nephews and two grand nieces, and many Aunts and Uncles and cousins.

Funeral services will be held Thursday, March 29th at 6:00 p.m. at the Hunter 4th ward, 7035 West 3605 South, WVC, UT. Burial will be in Moccasin, AZ on Saturday, March 31st at 12:30 p.m. Utah time, 11:30 a.m. Arizona time. The family would like to extend our deepest thanks to the ICU staff at Cottonwood Hospital.

Published in the Salt Lake Tribune on 3/28/2007.

I have many fond memories of Raymond. He was my beer-brewing buddy. Grace and I would go to the Rollins' garage and spend hours with Raymond and Wayne, making home brew, playing games, shooting the sh*t and having a great time.

I can't remember a Halloween party without him, for many many years. His laugh was goofy and made me smile everytime. He was a gentle soul with a unique sense of humor and mischief.

He suffered from Diabetes, and within the last couple of year, developed Leukemia. He had too much pain to live comfortably in this world and I am grateful that his Spirit has been released and can roam free.

Oh Goddess
There is great sadness
A cherished one has gone

Emptiness engulfs me
Loss languishes within
Help me bear this grief
Accompany their spirit
Comfort we who grieve

Let us rejoice in their life
May their essence be recorded
In the Great Book of Shadows
Renew our remembrance with joy

The wheel of life turns,
The cycle of rebirth continues.
Those beyond life,
You are remembered today.

Lady and Lord,
In your gentle embrace,
Our dead you have taken.
All thread of life are cut,
All threads are woven anew.

May the wheel turn,
And begin the cycle again.

May our blessings be received.
You are remembered.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Be Brave... Go Bald

Cancer affects us all in one way or another. Cancer research is vital to ending the disease. Connie wants to help.

Connie has committed to an unusual task - not only to raise a minimum of $500 for the Huntsman Cancer Hospital, but, if she reaches her goal, she will SHAVE her head and donate her beautiful mane to Locks for Love, an organization that makes natural hair wigs for children with Cancer.

With her family's support behind her, she will honor her word, and the memory of her Grandmother and others lost to Cancer, when the $500 goal is reached.

The fundraising will end on April 30, 2007.

Want to see Connie go COMPLETELY bald?

Click here to donate via PayPal

or you can contact Connie to receive the address to mail Checks or Money Orders for HCI. Please Forward this link to friends and family.

Join me - Make a difference in the life of a child, and make a difference in the fight against the disease.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Sick and Sore

Couldn't tell you what happened but I started throwing up last night and haven't stopped. My sides hurt, my head hurts and my jaw muscles are stinging. Thank God for promethazene.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Clotted Cream and the Emergency Room

Doesn't sound very good, does it. Well, so far, that sums up my week.

Monday, a few of my friends here at work and I were talking - come to find out that they are all fans of tea. Well, I just so happen to have 14 different kinds at my house and had the idea of a Tuesday Tea Party. I stopped by London Market and picked up some Devon Cream (otherwise known as clotted cream) and some traditional blackberry jam - but they were out of crumpets, so I had to settle for English Muffins.

Tuesday, I put out a display of my teas, muffins, cream and jam and we done had ourselves a nice little morning tea party. I had never had clotted cream before, but it was beautifully rich and not sweet - a perfect compliment to the jam. I was reading up on it and it can be used in sauces and in regular cooking too, and since I bought the BIG jar (at $12.50 a piece) I think I am going to make some cream sauces with it too... it was so fun, we have planned it for every Tuesday!

I then got the call from my Mom - she had been throwing up since 10pm the night before, couldn't keep her pain meds down and her pain was out of control. I rushed to the house, picked her up and took her to Pioneer Valley ER - and I have to say they Dr and the Nurse who took care of her were absolutely superior. The doctor consulted me as if I were her colleague and luckily, my mom had her last 4 blood tests in her medical file she keeps with her - and we found out that her sodium had dropped to the point that she was constantly nauseated - and had been that way since December. It was a good catch on the part of the Doctor and although she wasn't completely out of pain, she was sent home much more comfortable that when she went in.

Her Primary Care doctor saw her on Wednesday and was mad they didn't admit her. Well, if SHE would have answered the pages the ER doctor sent, she could have had a right to an opinion. Since she didn't, she can kiss my butt. I think PVH was absolutely thorough and let my mom go home to recoup in her bed than to be drugged out of her mind in the hospital. I tell you what - my mom is 150 pounds soaking wet and she took TWO rounds of morphine like she was a lumberjack.

Work is going well, and they are putting more and more responsibility on me. I love it here - and they love me, which is a great match.

Sarah returned from her trip to Reno with the grandparents, and she was sick almost the whole time, poor thing. I am so glad she's home.

My blog will be moving in the next month or so - my friend Michael, who owns Awen Web Design, is designing me a customized blog! He is an amazing web designer, so I am excited to see what it will be... The location will be at I'll let you know when the blog is up and going! :)

Have a fantastic Thursday!

Saturday, March 03, 2007

This Full Moon Eclipse in Virgo heightens your emotional sensitivity and can make you feel rather unstable. If you have built your world on shifting sands, there could be a bit of collateral damage. This isn't necessarily life-changing, but you must pay careful attention to anything that doesn't withstand the changes. Don't get sidetracked by making long-term plans; just focus on what needs to be done right now.

Friday, March 02, 2007

I'll Wait for You

The snow in Montana was three feet high
The lady at the counter said: There ain't no flights
And so he called her on the telephone
He said: I'll rent a car and I'll drive home

And she said: I'll wait for you
Like I did last year
At Christmas time with your family here
And your truck broke down out in San Antone
And the gifts stayed wrapped until you got home
Oh, this ain't nothin' new
Sweetheart, I'll wait for you

Now he's on his cell phone in a Coupe Deville
Talkin' to the one he loves and always will
His heart is breakin' 'cause she's there alone
Her heart is achin' 'cause she wants him home
She says: I'll wait for you like in '68
When our child was due, but I said, he'll have to wait
Until his dad gets here and stands by my side
Remember, Dear, our son's first cry
Oh, this ain't nothin' new
Sweetheart, I'll wait for you

He didn't stop all day to eat a bite
And he finally got there around midnight
The doctor said, she's in a better place
She said to give this you this note just in case

And it said, I'll wait for you at Heaven's gate
Oh, I don't care how long it takes
And I'll tell Saint Pete I can't come in
Without my love and my best friend
Oh, this ain't nothin' new
Sweetheart, I'll wait for you
P.S. I love you, too
Sweetheart, I'll wait for you


... Is a little darker, a
little more saddening

a little less happy and little more maddening
a dear soul has danced away from us
and into the arms of her beloved...

I read of Kathy's passing this morning and it hit me pretty hard. She was the activist I always aspired to - one with compassion and tenacity, a strong fist and an even stronger embrace.

How can anyone look at her passing as anything but a horrible tragedy?

Her strength in fighting the LDS Church, in fighting the US Postal System, in helping Sara fight breast cancer, then fighting to simply live after Sara was gone proved too much. How blessed she was to live so richly and devouring each and every bite life had to offer. How lucky she was to find her soul mate - and need to be with her forever.

I guess, in the big picture, she did what anyone would do. Cross Heaven and Earth to be reunited with the one she loved. How brave we all should be.

Kathy Worthington

Kathy Worthington 1950 ~ 2007 Kathy Worthington was born Oct. 20, 1950 in Salt Lake City, Utah. She died at her home in Taylorsville on February 22, 2007. The fourth child of six, Kathy grew up in Utah, Arizona and California. Kathy loved school and loved to learn about the world. She discovered her love of languages at the University of Utah. Never one to do anything halfway, Kathy went to Mexico in 1972 to study Spanish. While there, she met and married Rudy Juarez (later divorced) and had two girls: Rita Lucia (Lucy) and Sonia Cristina (Cristy). Kathy also busied herself helping to build a community for the poor, and taught English for three years. Upon her return to the U.S., Kathy's hands were full raising two children and working full time. In 1989 Kathy came out as a lesbian. She immediately immersed herself in the gay community and soon gained celebrity status via her prominent role as a gay rights activist. She organized women's social and support groups, planned political rallies and was on the board of the Utah Stonewall Center in its early days. She founded the Womyn's Community Newsletter in April of 1991, which was published for four years. This influential publication played a pivotal role in creating a cohesive lesbian community in Utah. In 1992 Kathy's heart was utterly won over by Sara Hamblin, the woman whom Kathy described as her "wife, life partner and best friend." The two participated in political rallies, marched in Washington, and were married at "The Wedding," the huge group union ceremony performed at the 1993 March on Washington for gay rights. Kathy and Sara were legally married in Canada in 2003. In their 14 years together they traveled widely, visiting 17 countries as well as much of the U.S. Sara was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1995. They immediately became experts on the disease. Through their studies and determination, they successfully fought off the disease for 11 years.

After a battle with the U.S. Postal Service, her employer from 1986 to her death, Kathy was granted leave in May of 1997 to care for Sara during her cancer treatments, a highly celebrated victory for the gay community. Sara died at home in Taylorsville on February 21, 2006 with Kathy and their family by her side.

Kathy's reach extended beyond even her own imagining. Her name is everywhere, from her direct and poignant postings regarding Sara's battle with breast cancer on, to her prominent work in the ex-Mormon community. She was the founder and administrator of the preeminent website providing information on resignation from the Mormon Church,

Her work in the gay community cannot be overstated. Kathy's generosity reached even further. She agreed to translate for a woman who was shot by her husband. Once, while discussing this series of events, Sara summed up Kathy's irrepressible drive to reach out to others: "Kathy gets confused about words sometimes. Maybe in Spanish the word 'translate' means to take someone under your wing and do everything you possibly can for them, no matter what time of day or night, no matter the distance, no matter the danger. If that's what the word means, then Kathy did an excellent job of 'translating.'" Kathy was a healing and informative force unleashed upon the world. Kathy changed lives, from Sara's, who said she went from being in the closet to "out on the front porch with spot lights turned on," to close friends, to those she never even met through her work in the community and on her websites.

Kathy is preceded in death by her wife, Sara Hamblin, their "Big Boy" Chiffy, mother Luella, father Dale and brothers Rick and Allen. She is survived by daughters, Cristy and Lucy, former husband Rudy Juarez (Ronnie), sister Dolly (Larry), brothers Marty (Gayleen) and Craig (Debra), and her cats Missy and Squeaky. Jude, Dianna, Kathy, Annette, Chuck, Penny, Mandy, Marie and Misty are special friends who were very close to Kathy, and have been especially supportive in this last year. Marilyn knows what comfort she brought to Kathy, and her family is overwhelmed by their appreciation for her. Special thanks to Margie and Alma for their support. Kathy's family extends their thanks to those who loved and followed Kathy through her eventful and influential life. Kathy's wish was to be cremated and her ashes joined with Sara's. The two were never meant to be separated.

A memorial for those who wish to celebrate Kathy's life will be held Sunday, March 4, 6-8 p.m. at the I.J. and Jeann' Wagner Jewish Community Center at 2 North Medical Drive, SLC; 581-0098. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to the Utah Pride Center ( or Best Friends Animal Sanctuary ( A tribute to both Kathy and Sara may be found at

"Sometimes I feel downright wealthy," Kathy once said. "We are managing to do so many things that are exciting and fun that I feel very fortunate." Those of us whose lives were touched by Kathy's spirit feel just as fortunate to have known her.

For Today...

The Moon brings emotional issues home to you when it enters your sign in the late afternoon. This is a great time to look back over the past few weeks before clarifying your current goals. Be sure to clean your plate so that you can start your new cycle. And don't be afraid to share your fears, for this can deepen the bond between you and someone you love.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Well the scope went well. I do have a hiatal hernia, but not as bad as they thought, so with time and medication it should heal on its own. Loved the doctor, plenty of drugs, the whole afternoon was a blur.

I'm kinda tired now so I am going to go lay down.

Tuxedo Strawberry Grooms Cake

Here they are!