Saturday, November 30, 2002

Oh, How Sweet...

Courtesy of Danielle at Missives Anonymous... (visit her site, it's great!!)


Cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be close to your special someone and feel warm, comfortable, and needed.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday, November 27, 2002

Happy Wednesday!!

I am such a happy camper today. Last night, I moved the armoire' from G's aunt's place, checked the last 3 boxes in the basement (not mine), and took the last of my clothes. Thanks to Lisa & D'Ann for coming to my rescue and helping me move that blasted thing. The only thing I have left to do is go through files in the filing cabinet, but I will wait to do that after Thanksgiving. My car is packed with boxes to take to the storage unit after work... and I still have some boxes from the house to put in there to de-clutter and I will be done. Done. Unbelievable. I can't imagine what my life will be like when things are settled. Time to write emails and letters, just drop by and say Hi to my friends... it's going to be heaven on earth!

To make things easier on my Mom this year, I ordered our T-day dinner from Marie Callender's. Feed 10 people for $80 bucks? Hell, yeah! I pick up our Thanksgiving Feast from Marie Callender's at 7:00:
Whole 12 lb. Turkey
Apple Sage dressing
Mashed Potatoes and Gravy
Sweet-Potato Casserole
Mixed Veggies
Cranberry Sauce
Cornbread and Honey butter
Apple Pie, Pecan Pie and Apple Cranberry pie.

In addition to this, my sister is bringing a veggie tray, deviled eggs and pumpkin pie, and I am making green bean casserole, a baked ham and our traditional sweet poatoes (just in case theirs aren't any good!) I am thinking we are gonna have food for DAYS. It's going to be me, my sister and her husband, my parents and *possibly* my Grandfather and his companion and my uncle Jon and his wife, althought the four of them might just go out for dinner. Lin and Sarah are doing the family thing, but my father made a point of telling her this morning (he stopped by her work) that they are more than welcome to come over, even afterward, and watch football and eat pie.

I think my Dad likes Lindi and is conflicted about that. He's not supposed to, after all, she is the "woman" in my life and by accepting her, he somehow validates my sexuality. He's working it out in his own little ways. Last night was hilarious, though. Picture it: 3 dykey-lesbians in my kitchen and my dad didn't even flinch. They chatted about cars and tattoos, even took them downstairs to see his curio cabinet full of the things he collects. He's come a long way! I am proud of him.

And, to clear the record, I am NOT stalking Jeffie's sperm. If I were to choose a sperm donor, I would hope he would be of the same caliber, intelligence, integrity, wit and charm as Jeff, but this does NOT mean I am stalking his little soldiers... although.... *chuckle*

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I am thankful for you all!

Monday, November 25, 2002

Crazy Crazy Monday

Commissions go out today, so I only have a very brief period to fill y'all in on the weekend. Friday was spent going through boxes, throwing out the old and boxing what I wanted to keep. I spent the night over at Lin's with Sarah and two of her friends, so that was fun. Got up, and went to the Lovely Kristen's for a reading, which brought a lot of insight. The cards were extremely positive about the direection of my life and my life choices, but obviously I have things to work on. I am journaling again (my Kristen homework) and am being very kind to my inner-child. She ended up making me cry, but it was a good thing!

When I returned from my reading (and a bit of shopping in their wonderful store) my energy was so strong and positive, Lin couldn't even stand near me without getting light headed. She said it felt like her heart was going to explode... She said she could almost "see" the energy about a foot around me in every direction. It's amazing when you can get perspective and clarity about where you are and who you are in such a way that impacts those you love.

Moved boxes to the unit on Sunday, dumped another 3 boxes of trash, cleaned my room and bathroom, and spent a quiet evening at my house, cuddling on my bed, watching football with Lin. Did anyone notice that my team was beat by...the Cowboys?? Ohigawd, I thought I was going to throw up!

Friday, November 22, 2002

And Friday is Supposed to be a GOOD Day??!?!

So, I get a call from G's Aunt telling me there are some boxes I need to go through at the house we used to live in. Okay, I can handle that. I am thinking 4-6 boxes tops. Lindi and I borrowed Dad's MONSTER truck and headed over.... 2 hours later and a completely FULL truck bed, piled 3 boxes deep, I realized there is a lot of shit in my life. Of course, everything is mixed so I now have the wonderous task of sorting it all out on my own, which is fine, since Lin and The Mom are going to help me.

But, the biggest prize of ALL... I found all my yearbooks and poetry and EVERYTHING I thought I lost! I feel sorta whole now, like a big gaping wound is healing. Hurrah, hurrah!

I am strong, I am a fighter. I also have a backache and a broken nail.

I found a storage unit at an extremely afforadable rate, so most of my shit is going there... Might as well, since Lin and I are looking at places in case I can't find a house I want. We're thinking June-ish. Taking it slow, doing it right.

Needless to say, my date night with my Honey is cancelled, but she told me she didn't mind helping me sort through boxes, just spending time with me is all the date she needs. Awwwww...

We also got a new game called "Foreplay". Now, I know what you're thinking, but it's not all about sex. There are "Key" cards of questions designed to promote discussion and communication between couples. It is really wonderful. I learned a lot about her last night. The sex part is merely the bonus at the end of the game. In fact, you don't even touch each other until the whole thing is over. Very romantic and I HIGHLY recommend it.

Thursday, November 21, 2002

I Have a Frog in my Throat... and I Think it's Pregnant

Doing the work thing today, imagine if you will, and suddenly my voice becomes a raspy, shrieking reminant of what it used to be... so much so, everyone asks me if I am okay. Yeah, just the last of the cold making it's valliant attempt at holding onto my throat.

I've started to get back in touch with some poeple who have been sorely neglected over the past few months, having dinner with Jennifer last night, chatting with both Steph AND The Redhead (did I mention how cute they are together??!!) within the last couple of days has me on a happy streak. Now if I can only get y'all to the club...

Lin and I finally sat down and figured out our schedules for December and realized that we have 16 days unoccupied. Whut Whoo!!! Other than that, we have parties and parties and family committments and everything else under the sun. Strangely, I am not stressed in the least, and I am really looking forward to the holidays this year. On Saturday the 7th, Sarah and I get to spend the entire day together, shopping and doing froofy things. I made a special appointment for us, but I can't tell you what for since I think she reads this blog. We're... painting rocks! Yeah, that's it!

My weekend is shaping up to be as busy as it can possibly be... tonight I am getting the rest of my storage from Trina's house with the help of Lindi and Lindi's Dad's truck, Friday is "Date Night" for me and my honey (probably dinner and a movie), Saturday morning I have a Tarot reading with The Redhead (a/k/a The Lovely Kristen), Saturday Night is an evening at the Paper Moon and Sunday is always Lindi's day, although she has to work in the morning. I am soooo looking forward to my reading with Kristen. It has been almost one year since my last reading, which floored me with it's insight. It predicted a lot of what I have gone through in the last year, and I trust Kristen implicitly, so the reading is sure to be very in tune with my energy right now. If I remember - and JJ correct me if I am wrong on this one - I believe the reading predicted Lindi coming into my life... along with the warning not to move in right away! LOL. Funny thing, we are taking things nice and slow, and enjoying every minute, so maybe I learned something...

Oh, and Sarah and Matt are back together. I told her I would support whatever decision she made but that I wasn't pleased with her choice, since I thought she had acted very maturely the first time around. Lin and I have told her we are not making efforts to get them together on dates or anything like that, they will have to figure out their relationship, only because we don't feel she should be seeing someone older and exclusive. We don't want to "forbid" her... that will just make her run to him. So, we will be ever-present and open-eyed.

And I am still not used to being called "Mom". I don't think I'll ever get used to that. Sarah was on the phone with her friend and I overheard her say, "Hey, I gotta go, my parents want me..." and I realized she was talking about Lindi and me. Oh Gawd, is that pride or nausea??!?!??!!

Monday, November 18, 2002

Oh, I am so Happy!!! My Baby's Home!!

Lindi's flight came in on Friday Night... only 2 hours LATE, but I at least had the opportunity to people watch until she got there. She looked so energized, yet exhausted, from the trip and we shared a wonderful and private evening alone. I had planned a whole "Welcome Home" deal, complete with candles, a hot bath and dinner in a beautiful King Suite at the Country Inn and Suites... but since her plane had "Routine Maintenance" issues, the bath was cold, the candles were almost gone and the food had to be nuked. She was grateful for the attempt, and smiled while I did a little damage control to the evening. Luckily, I had purchased 48 tealights, so the candle problem wasn't really a problem, the bath was easily warmed up and the food was ready when she was done. Oh, and when you get Chinese food and ask for forks, make sure they give you more than one. Eating Chinese food with a spoon is a little infuriating!

Saturday I joined the gang in the massive "Let's Move JJ and Brad across the freakin' State" parade. My headcold was about to kill me, but I was at least able to contribute my witty sense of humor, my dazzling beauty and my car to the effort.

Sunday I spent in bed, then went to Lindi's for Family Dinner. On the menu: homemade Jambalaya, breadsticks, salad and Chocolate Cream filled Raspberry Mer-- I don't know how to spell this -- Meringue (??) for dessert. Then Lindi broke down and gave me one of my Christmas presents early... are you ready for this... AN EASY BAKE OVEN!!! I about died with laughter. It was the one thing as a child I secretly wanted and never asked for. She wanted my inner child to have a present for Christmas. Now y'all see why I love her so much... besides the fact that she is a Cancer.

I have decided that I have the same problem JJ has, just in reverse. She can't get away from Virgos and I can't get away from Cancers. God help us both.

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

The Lesbian Bar... and the Airport

So, Saturday was a complete blast. I am sorry so many of you weren't able to make it to the Moon, it ended up being wonderfully NON-dramatic, full of laughs, dancing, bodyshots and great times. We spread out over 3 tables, me, Lindi, Cynthia, Liz, Deann, Alisha, Kat, Brenda, Lisa, Margaret and about 6 other women I met THAT night, but were new friends of Lindi's. I am grateful I arrived early to reserve tables, as the entire place was packed to the walls. Odd women approached Lindi and were asking her to dance or asking her if she were with, yeah, the girl sitting next to her with her hand in Lindi's lap just MIGHT be her girlfriend, but who knows in a lesbian bar. Lisa was officially dubbed my surrogate girlfriend while Lindi is away in Phoenix, so I had to hold her hand, too. I suppose I looked either A; drunk or B; slutty, but since both are true... The DJ for the eveing was kind and dedicated one of more dirty-dancing songs to Lindi as a "Bon Voyage", but publicly chided me when Deanna yelled, "Hell, she's only leaving for a WEEK!" The DJ glared at me playfully and said, "Shit, Connie, the tip was good, but not THAT good!" Everyone had a laugh over that one... But she played the song anyway. I FINALLY found occassion to wear my black see-through top with my flesh-colored push-up bra... and Lindi was appreciative of that fact, too. In fact, all the women at my table were... nice to know I can still turn a few women's heads with these bad boys...

We then had the wonderful task of sneaking into her house at 2:00 am, then to be up at 5:30 am to take her to the airport. Y'all know how much I hate airports, and this was a bad trip. I felt naseated the entire time, and it wasn't the tequila. We had a short, tearful goodbye and I left for home feeling quite off, and I realized that I already missed her. It sounds so fucking corney, but I just don't feel quite complete without her. Of course, she called me to let me know she arrived and the phone numbers and all the important information. She was able to visit her cousin Tracy and her new baby Ani (pronounced aww-knee, Hawaiian for "beautiful"). She called me from Tracy's house, too, and let me listen to beautiful newborn cooing. You should have heard Lindi, it warmed my heart to it's depths to hear her speak to this new child. She's quite an amazing woman... but all you Cancers already KNEW that!

To cope with the lonliness and the inability to connect at the drop of a hat, I have started a journal of sorts. I just start writing to tell her of all the things going on and the thoughts and feelings running through my head. I figure she'll get quite a kick out of it when she gets home... it's already up to 12 pages or so...

She comes back on Friday night. Well, let's put it this way, she flies home Friday evening but isn't actually going home until Saturday afternoon... *wink*

Yes, I know, I was a bit anxious to help JJ move... so much so, I came a week early. So, sue me, dammit!! At least I was able to do SOMETHING, even if it was only to clean a couple of bathrooms, eat lunch and go home. I love her house, I think it's beautiful. I will miss her so far away, though. But she is worth the drive, at all lengths.

And little Jeffy has a girlfriend. Tee hee. Good for you. Wait, damn, now I can't ask you to father my children. *smacks head*

Wednesday, November 06, 2002

It's Official... I am Sick

Still puking, but I am doing a little better. I don't feel like I am going to crawl up walls or anything. 3 days off work and no fun to show for it. I am thrilled, can you tell? My love is coming over after work to fill my anti-naseau meds and rub my head some more. And shove Gatorade down my throat.

Our relationship has really started to solidify over the last couple of months into a friendship as well as a romance. Now I know what JJ, Lorene and Toni talk about with their partners/husbands being their best friends. I am able to be myself without losing what makes me uniquely me. I don't feel "melted" into one coagulated unit, we appreciate all the differences between us. Although, I am not sure how long our relationship can last, since she doesn't like broccolli. *lol*

Last Saturday, while we had her daughters for the evening, we were passsing a jewelry store and Sarah spotted a gold Tinkerbell pendant. Before I knew it, she had me picking out the chain I wanted with it and it was around my neck. Completely thoughtful and sweet. This is the first piece of jewelry she has given to me, she told me she had been searching for "the right one". She amazes me sometimes. She pays attention to the small things about me, especially when I am not looking.

Well, I am going back to bed. 20 minutes is all I can handle upright. Hope all is well in your world!

Tuesday, November 05, 2002

Oh My Gaaawd, I Am Going To Die...

Flu sucks. Home in bed. Lindi brought me soup and cornbread from Marie Callendars yesterday, and rubbed my head... she is a Goddess. I love everyone. I wish I had an adjoining bathroom to my bedroom. Plus, I am celebrating my womanhood. My female readers can appreciate the combination. I have a Dr's appointment at 11 to tell me what I already know: I am dying.

And how is YOUR day?

Friday, November 01, 2002

New Day and Thanks to the Goddess

Last night was interesting, difficult and a blessing, all rolled into one. I guess you could have forseen that by my last entry. I am doing incredibly well today, and I think it has a lot to do with Lorene and her spells for the new year.

We gathered at Lin's house and were watching movies, handing out candy to the 7 trick or treaters who braved the icy cold and wind to adventure out. Chucky and Sandra Bullock were on the menu, as well as popcorn and all the Tootsie Rolls you could handle!

As we were settling into the second movie, I looked over at Lindi as a look of death crossed her face. I asked her what was the matter, and she whispered something to the effect that the little boy had his hands all over her little girl. Of course, the first thing I wanted to do was jump up and kill the bastard, but Lindi said it had stopped because Sarah knew they had been caught.

A little whispered encouragement (to prevent a homicide) and an hour passed and we ended up taking the boy home. Lindi was out of her mind with anger, and didn't know what to do. I asked her if she wanted to me start the conversation, to get it rolling, since she was afraid of saying something that she would regret. She said yes. I quickly closed my eyes and said a prayer to God, Lorene's Goddess, ANY HIGHER POWER, to bring the right words to my mouth.

And, amazingly, they came out.

Suddenly, I felt calm and clear, wise and concerned. I didn't preach, I didn't rant, I simply asked her what she felt was going on in her relationship and let it progress from there. It was odd, I already knew she felt disrespected by the boy, that she felt... oh, how did she put it... like a "cheap skank"... and that she was hurt that he had tried to make a move, let alone in front of her Mom and me. I held her hand all the way home as she came to the very mature decision, on her own, to break up with the boy... if he respects her, he will want to be her friend, and if he doesn't, then he can hit the road.

We got home and hugged and laughed and cried with her and she went to bed knowing that she was loved and how proud we are of her and the decision she came to. Lindi walked me to my car and told me that she's not sure how I did it, but everything came out perfectly and hugged me tight with great thanks.

Hell, I know who to give the credit to.

Thanks, Yogi. I appreciate the energy.