Friday, February 27, 2004

Status Update
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Over 77 Accounts - about 10k processed.

Clam chowder for lunch, burned my fucking tongue it's so hot. Don't they know that is detremental to a lesbian? I should get work comp.

My headache is still here. Don't know where it came from. Aleve isn't doing it's thing.

My ass doesn't hurt, unlike at 2am when I whined, tossed and finally popped 800 of IB.

I am working OT. Yeah. Bring it on, you corporate monster, b r i n g i t o n.

I love my wifey.

Added 2 new blogs that I found, loved, hugged and now want to keep forever.

It's not even good chowder.

I'm a Small, Black Boy...

You are Franklin!

Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thanks, Danielle!

Rosie, Oh Rosie...
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Time for me to weigh in on the O'Donnell/Carpenter nuptials.

First, congratulations to them for having the means, and the publicity, to draw such attention to their marriage in San Fran. I think it's awesome. They, along with 3,00-plus other couple are doing what the rest of the nations gays and lesbians are dying to do right now. Even a city in New York is jumping in and declaring war against their state and issuing marriage licenses. Hopeful. I am very hopeful.

But it made me quite melancholy.

I wasn't expecting to cry when I saw this picture. Truly. Beside the fact that I don't care for Rosie very much, the envisionment of her and her wife kissing as a married couple made me tear up. Why?

Because it is what every lesbian and gay couple should be allowed to do.

Don't get me wrong. I loved my wedding. It was beautiful, poignant and breathtaking. But, let's get honest here. It wasn't real. It was as real as we could make it, and it doesn't change my level of devotion and committment to Lindi in the eyes of God and our family and friends. But it's not real. It's not a marriage. It's two devoted women living as a married couple. And I guess that will have to do for now.

I want to be able to point to Lindi and tell everyone that she is my wife, and have no one doubt the sanctity of that word. I want to be able to confide in her, and evoke spousal priveldge. I want her to be with me and me with her in the hospital, on our death beds and in our final arrangements. I want to do everything with her. I want her to be the mother of my child, be recognized for it, and not the "guardian" listed in my will. It's so simple that even the Republicans don't get it.

It's not about sex. It never has been. I'll have sex with or without the government's permission. It's about my life and who I choose to share it with.

I am jealous of Rosie O'Donnell. And I am proud.

Thursday, February 26, 2004

Thank You for your Patience...
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It will be rewarded.

I've been piled on at work, stack atop of endless stack. The trouble all started when the Powers decided I could assimilate another function into my job... and eliminate an entire position. Double the workload, no raise to compensate because I am in probationary status, bonus for management, guaranteed overtime for me, whether or not I want it. Okay, I will do my best, and see what I am made of.

I was given assurances. Oh, yes, I was given plenty of assurances that someone new would be hired to take care of my "overflow". In fact, they hired her. But, as God (read: Management) giveth, He also takes away and she's being trained for something else entirely. And they won't be hiring again for another few months.


So, when my co-worker came to my cubie first thing yesterday morning and said, "I was told you are now going to review all copy requests before they go out (about 100/day)" I had hit boiling point. This had previously been her job.

I reared around on my highbacked swivel chair and spat, "And when do YOU think I can get to that? Before the 500 transactions I need to post today, the nine new batches I need to review, the hundred or so EOB's I need to distribute or the $300k in credit balances I need to refund, since I AM doing 2 people's jobs now?"

It wasn't pretty.

I have since apologized (profusely - I think a hug was involved, too), and I think my supervisor heard me, because as I was going through the copy requests and my co-worker was showing me how to review them, the supervisor came over and asked to take them. Good.

Later in the afternoon, our department had a "productivity meeting" with my boss and the boss' boss. I sat between the two of them like some management sandwich. During the meeting, I noticed something interesting. Both of the bosses were giving direction to the rest of the staff on shortcuts and helpful tips to assist me... items that would make my life easier when their work fell on my desk. I was stunned, but elated. Even the little things can make such a big difference.

Oh, let me also point out a crick in this whole deal. I have had ZERO guidance from my supervisor as to how she wants me to do the new element to my job. I made my own forms, process, and everything since I have had NO training. So far, every snag encountered has had a solution. I am somewhat pleased.

So, buried or not, I plug away, plan on overtime (envisioning Alaska in the distance), knowing the reason they gave this to me is because I can do this. I can do this! And I will.

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

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Dear Readers,

Connie is unavailable for posting today. She is overwhelmed at work and has been buried in a mound of paperwork. Be patient with her....she should be back tomorrow or this weekend.


Tuesday, February 24, 2004

One Word

A fun writing exercise for those with 60 seconds or less.

Today's Word: Reaching

When I was younger, I knew I wasn't very tall. I would have to reach for things on shelves, reach for items in cupboards, reach for the stars.
Now that I am older, I am still short, but the shortness in my physicial appearance is nothing to the shortness in my vision, while I am reaching for goals, reaching for dreams, and reaching for a new life.

Artificial Insemination...

Okay, just to get started, it's $100 per doctor consultation, about $600 to screen yourself and $400 per insemination. Bonus, that includes the sperm. It takes an average of 4 attempts, at a success rate of about 15%. So, anywhere from $2,400 on up. And that's pennies compared to In-Vitro Fertilization...


$100 in tequila to get me drunk and $150 worth of video porn for the donor.


Pitter Pat
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ON CAPITOL HILL: Insurers would have to cover infertility treatment under maternity coverage under Senate Bill 221, approved Monday by the Senate Health and Human Services Committee. Though described by sponsoring Sen. Ed Mayne, D-West Valley, as "a family bill -- it's to help those who are trying to have families" -- SB221 was opposed by the Utah Manufacturers Association as a costly mandate to employers offering health insurance.
Courtesy of the Salt Lake Tribune

Okay. I have a couple of problems with this.

If an insurance company is made to cover infertility treatments, bonus. But where is the other side of that spectrum (or speculum, as the case may be) and the mandate for insurance companies to cover birth control? If we are encouraging people to have babies through their medical coverage benefits, shouldn’t we also encourage population control for those who do not wish to have children? It’s a lot less expensive to pay for birth control shots or pills than the money it takes to carry a child to term in a healthy manner, or to assist a patient who may have complications from an abortion.

I am really feeling the balance shift in this state. I already knew that those people who choose to have children in Zion are of the Utah Elite – more considerations in the workplace, etc. Now, the Legislature wants to make businesses and employers and THE REST OF US pay higher medical insurance premiums so Moroni’s Flock can reproduce at will. Yea.

Secondly, you can bet dollars to binki’s that the benefit will not include artificial insemination for single, partnered or lesbian women. Oh, no. That won’t happen here… so goes even more discrimination. If you are married and begging to fill your house with morally upstanding children (and future taxpayers), let the rest of the State pay for it.


I can’t get excited over Legislation that makes me pay for services I have no chance of ever receiving. Or, as in Toni’s case, who never want to receive. So, does that mean we should get some sort of consolation prize? Oh, yeah, we did already. The right to live in a Petty, Fake State.

I just hate the prospect of the government telling us how and when we can breed and have it paid for. That get's scary, if you ask me.

No, go forth and procreate!

By the way, an edited version of this entry was sent to the Salt Lake Tribune. Let's see if they have the guts to print it.

Monday, February 23, 2004

Oh, Dear Lord
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I have truly found the most irreverent, oddly funny website known to man: Here you can browse throught ht ehighway memorials this guy visits, takes photos of, and generally disses... write your own Suicide Note... this man is either a genius, a porn addict, or something in between.

Oh, by the way, here's my Suicide Notes. I laughed.
Version 1 McDonald's made me do it (here is the link to the McDonald's Email Form)
Version 2 I AM the Christ!

What a true prick...

I Think I've Been Ignorning My Ms. Kitty...

A New Appreciation for Christ...
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This weekend was.. um... very eventful. Yeah, that's a great way to put it. I am lucky I am still breathing with the luck that's following me around lately.

On Friday, I was able to complete all the work on my desk. For that, I was grateful and happy, not to mention it was payday. After running to the bank, and to the grocery store, I was very, VERY tired, and somewhat cranky, I will admit. So when my mother called and told me she wanted to fax me something, I asked Sarah to run upstairs and grab some paper to put in the machine. She asked me to finish her dishes and she would be right back.

I sauntered up to the sink, and started to get the utensils out of the sink and place them in the dishwasher when a bunch of silverware fell out of my hands (see tired, VERY tired above). Not realizing what I was actually doing, I moved my hands in a downward fashion. When I saw blood and felt a sharp pain throughout my left arm, I looked down and realized I had shish-ka-bob'd the palm of the hand on a carving knife. The knife had been sticking up, and whammo!

I lifted my hand up and the knife fell out, accompanied by more pain and a gush of dark red blood. My knees went weak and I don't remember much, except for Sarah putting paper towels on my hand and telling me to "apply pressure!" and Sarah calling her Grandma, the surgical nurse, who lives a couple blocks away. I remember sitting down on a chair Sarah got me, but keeping my hand over the sink... and then Lindi was there... and then Grandma was there... and then Lindi was getting me to the car to go to the Urgent Clinic.

I finally started to calm down in the car, even though the pain was intense. When we got to the U's Redwood Clinic, they were able to see me right away. The treatment began something like this:

Nurse: "Okay, we need to irrigate with salt water and antibiotics to flush the wound and prevent infection."

Dumb Me: "That sounds fine."

Nurse: "It's gonna hurt a bit. We have to force the water into the wound and start it bleeding again to make sure there's nothing bad going on."

Dumb Me: "I understand, go right ahead."

Nurse: "Here we go."


Lindi tried to help by holding my hand (probably to prevent me from decking the nurse) and trying to take my mind off of what was going on by asking what I had gotten for dinner, blah blah blah. Between the tears and the snot running down my face, I am not sure if I actually spoke or just nodded.

The doctor came in after that and said that it looked like I had missed all the major nerves that run through the hand (of which there are many) and the wound was very clean (thanks to whoever got us the knives for our wedding present - we love you!). She was able to avoid stitches and they used medical "superglue" to coat the entire wound, then applied a pressure bandage.

*Throb, throb. Throb, throb.*

Thank God I had just refilled my Lortab for my back!

As the days go by, there seems to be more function and more strength, but it's tough. I can't shower myself, can't put a bra on, can't tie my shoes. Fun.

Saturday was the Gold Canyon Candle party, and we had a BLAST. About 8 people showed up, but we really had a lot of fun. For those of you who weren't able to make it, we are leaving it open until this Saturday, so you can get your orders in.

Saturday night was just me, Lindi and the Lion King 1 1/2.

Sunday was The Lion King 1 1/2 with Summer and Karen, light housecleaning, and Sunday dinner at the Inman's. Very relaxing. Trust me, I needed it.

Sit Right Back and You'll Hear a Tale...


Lindi's family is planning a HUGE family cruise to Alaska on August 8th. As a wedding present, her parents are buying our cruise tickets! I cannot tell you how excited we are. It's a full 7 days excursion out of Vancouver, BC.

Norwegian Sun sails round-trip from Vancouver this year on Inside Passage cruises. The flexible, casual cruise experience is popular with families.

On board features include nine restaurants for casual, anytime dining; two-deck show lounge, central atrium, observation lounge, spa and fitness center, wrap-around promenade deck, basketball/volleyball court, golf driving range, batting cages, chapel, sports bar, champagne bar, casino, kids and teens centers."

I have never been out of the country, never been on a cruise ship, never gone to Alaska... this trip will be amazing. We have some saving to do, but we can do it, I am sure.

Our Itinerary sounds wonderful:
Sun. Depart Vancouver, British Columbia - - 5:30pm
Mon. Cruise The Inside Passage
Tue. Port-Ketchikan, Alaska 6:00am 3:00pm
Wed. Port-Juneau, Alaska 7:00am 1:30pm
Cruise Sawyer Glacier
Thu. Port-Skagway, Alaska 7:00am 8:00pm
Fri. Port-Wrangell, Alaska 12:00pm 6:00pm
Sat. Cruise The Inside Passage
Sun. Arrive Vancouver, British Columbia 7:00am

I Can't Wait!

Friday, February 20, 2004

And If I were a South Park Character...
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Looks like me, doesn't it?


Hee hee hee...

Create your Own Personalized South Park Character! LINK FIXED!!

The Hot Seat...
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W A R N I N G : I am going to rant, and it might be offensive and a little insensitive, and I do apologize in advance. For those who know me, I am quite accepting and open in normal circumstances. These aren't normal circumstances anymore.

With that said, let me rant.

I was watching TV last night when I came across one of those "America Speaks" portions of a news program where watchers can write in with their opinions of current events, and by some slim chance, it might be put on the air. One woman wrote, "I am tired of the gays using African-Americans to further their own agendas. Stop comparing your sexual preference to my ethnicity."

Whoa. Hold the boat for one second.

First of all, the only time I personally have ever used African-American's and gays in comparison is in viewing the struggles of civil rights. The blacks had years and years of persecution and struggle to obtain what we now know as civil rights. That is similar to what we are going through now. Gays generally have every right except the right to marry and to become parents to one another's children. Even the blacks had that before their other civil rights, so don't give me that bullshit.

Secondly, a great many scientists have concluded that homosexuality and bisexuality is a genetic issue, not an emotional or psychological one - ie: you are born gay. If this is the case, then there is another correlation between us and the blacks, Hispanics, Latinos, etc. We didn't choose this, it is who we are. Frankly, if I had a choice (until I met my wife), I wouldn't have chosen to be attracted to women. The baggage that comes with being gay is not fashionable, not chic. It is hard, demanding, and it takes a strong person to come out in this country, even now, to face persecution and ridicule. Some of us do not make it out alive. Remember Mathew Sheppard? Teena Brandon? Blacks aren't the only ones lynched in this country.

No, we don't have to use separate bathrooms, but we have to be afraid of being physically assaulted when we do use one. We don't have to ride at the back of the bus, or eat at the back counter, or use back entrances, but we can't even bury our spouses, or take our children to the emergency room and declare ourselves a parent, or be a leader in the Cub Scouts, or coach a women's softball team without a constant eye of judgment and sometimes, legal ramifications.

At this point in the game, you have more rights in this country that I do, between quotas and foundations and NAACP and Jesse Jackson. Compare the two of us? There is no comparison. The American White Politically-Correct Establishment is giving you anything and everything you ever dreamed of out of some set-aside guilt for slavery umpteen hundred years ago. I have no guilt. My ancestors didn't own slaves, and neither did I.

You have been screaming for equal rights for over 100 years. And now you have Special Rights, and that is a cold hard fact. The gays just want to be able to marry and have children without persecution. That's all. We aren't belittling your struggles by comparing them with our own, we honor them and the strife all of your ancestors had to go through. Too bad you can't see that.

We have grown as a Nation, a community, to recognize that intolerance and bigotry are unacceptable. Then why is it acceptable to do all of this to gays? No one would dream of treating any other minority in such a fashion. Because we are perverts, sodomites, and against God's Law.

Well, God created me. I am not against God's law. I am an example of God's love.

Wait a minute - weren't blacks also considered "tainted by God" and that is the justification of the Ku Klux Klan... hmmmm, the similarities are astonishing... glad we have come far enough to realize that line of thinking is absurd.

So, before you or anyone else of minority status starts spouting off that you are sick of being compared and contrasted with the gay movement, look at yourself. You are becoming exactly what your forefathers fought against. A hateful, self-absorbed, righteously indignant, tyrannical BIGOT imposing your views on the lives of us all. Whether or not you want to admit it, sista, we are all in this together. Where one persons rights are trampled, all of our rights are trampled. THAT is what Equal Rights is all about... or did you forget what Martin Luther King, Jr. was teaching?

Funny thing is, at least the gays aren't fighting to have our own Affirmative Action... Gay Scholarships, Gay Schools, Gay History Month...

But, oh, wouldn't it be fun if we did.

Useless Knowledge
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Hee hee.

All I have to say is: Senito aliquos togatos contra me conspirare

Dr. Demento Rules

Lindi and I were talking the other night about the Funny 25, and, look what I found! Fish Heads, Fish Heads...

Cat's New Year's Resolutions

Cat New Year's Resolutions (from Ern)

▪ I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and puke them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.
▪ We will not play Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti over any human's bed while they're trying to sleep.
▪ Birds do not come from the bird feeder. I will not knock it down and try to open it up to get the birds out.
▪ If I MUST claw my human, I will not do it in such a fashion that the scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.

Hard Times...
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I am having some serious self-worth issues lately. I have tried to build up my self esteem over a period of years, realizing that I am worth what I believe to be my worth and not what others perceive of me. It seems like just when I get to a point of acceptance, something knocks me down, and I am small and worthless again.

I am an affectionate person, I always have been. And when it hasn't been reciprocated, I have felt undesirable. Most women do. It is intrisically adhered to my brain - when you love someone - you are affectionate... and I won't apologize for being a touchy-feely kind of girl. When I am unable to express myself in this way, for whatever reason, my self-esteem plunges into this dark place that I hate. I am ugly, stupid, fat, r e j e c t e d. And I cry for no apparent reason.

No, I am not Jennifer Aniston, but I am amazing. And I don't have to be another person for someone to love me and desire me. Beauty truly is in the heart, not in the body. And, for that, I am stunning.

Sorry for the brutal honesty, but sometimes, life isn't wine and roses. I guess I am lucky I have a wife who loves me in spite of my moods.

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Is the Gold Canyon Candle Party! Can I tell you how excited I am for this shin-dig? My sister, Niece, is hosting it at her house, and the food is going to be GREAT. I can honestly say that Gold Canyon is my favorite candle company. They are inexpensive, and handle over 100 scents from Clove to Rose to Fresh Baked Cinnamon Roll. They wipe the floor with all the other candle companies, seriously. Their candle holders are to die for, very classy and modern, some very simple and elegant.

So, email me if you didn't receive your invitation... you definately want to come to this party.

I Have a Headache
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... probably from lack of sleep. I have not been sleeping well this past week, mostly from the pain in my arse and legs. And when I do get comfortable, it's only temporary. That which does not kill us, right? Sitting at work certainly doesn't help, nor does the walk to work after finding a parking spot, usually a full block away. Normally, one would not consider a block-walk very bad. In my case, when you're not sure if your right leg is gonna give out on you, it can be very trying. It looks like I qualify for a handicapped parking sign. Whooppee....

Taking the day off of work was not detrimental to my workload, as I am catching up quickly. I was going to work overtime today, but if I can help it, I am going to plow through the work on my desk and get outta here on time. The money is nice, but I would rather be home.

Oh, I got another bonus - second one this year. $50. Niice.

Let me tell you the saga of getting prescriptions refilled. I am on pain medication, which we all know and love. Apparently, the new FDA standards also require a lot of bullshit must accompany any request for a med refill.

Day One: I called my doctors office on Tuesday morning, bright and early, at 8:30 am, and left a lengthy message with them, asking them to refill my meds. I told them that I had been seen by a surgeon for my herniation, that I would not be doing surgery, so they are now in charge of my pain management for the next year, the surgeon would not be following my care.

Over the course of the next 8 hours, I called the doctor's office 4 times, the pharmacy 3 times, and still did not get things straightened out. No one could find the pharmacy's faxes requesting refills. Then they couldn't find my chart. Then my doctor was "slammed" and hadn't had a chance to review my file. Blah, blah, blah... yadda, yadda.

Day Two: So, I called the doctors office on Wednesday and was able to speak with a receptionist with most of a brain. I explained to her the situation... again... and she suggested that I fax over my MRI results documenting the herniation for my file (they weren't there... amazing, I know) and on the cover sheet, explain everything my surgeon said. I did, and I addressed it to the Nurse Practitioner, not my doctor. I also explained that the last prescription I had was for 20 pills, which I ran out of on the 40th day, despite the fact that I can take up to 3 per day. Obviously, I am not a pain med addict.

My refills are now waiting for me at the pharmacy. Moral of the story? Always go to the woman behind the man, who really gets the shit done.

Thursday, February 19, 2004

RIGHT ON! Welcome, Chicago!
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(02-19) 06:37 PST CHICAGO (AP) --
Mayor Richard Daley said he would have "no problem" with Cook County issuing marriage licenses to gay couples in Chicago, the nation's third-largest city.

Entering a national debate over gay marriage, Daley urged sympathy for same-sex couples because "they love each other just as much as anyone else."

Daley also dismissed a suggestion Wednesday that marriage between gay couples would undermine the institution.

"Marriage has been undermined by divorce, so don't tell me about marriage," he said. "Don't blame the gay and lesbian, transgender and transsexual community."

Daley said only the county clerk's office can issue marriage licenses, and he stopped short of saying he would follow San Francisco's Mayor Gavin Newsom by approving marriage licenses for same-sex couples.

County Clerk David Orr said he was "game to looking at options," but only if a consensus could be built between Daley, city and county government and advocacy groups.

"I'm fed up with people being discriminated against because of their sexual orientation," Orr said. "(But) whatever you do when it comes to challenging laws, you want it to be effective and not knee-jerk."

Last fall the county board authorized Orr to issue certificates of domestic partnership that carry no legal rights.

Rick Garcia, political director for the gay rights group Equality Illinois, welcomed Daley's comments, saying they represent "another step in the right direction."

And, for a laugh:
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For your giggling pleasure, I present to you ...
The Searches that referred readers to My Blog:

connie lingus goddess (Google) 2
Virgo the Goddess (Google) 2
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