Monday, May 31, 2004

What a Wonderful Memorial Day Weekend!

Poor Lindi has to work all weekend. And I am not talking about a 9-5. She has to be up and out of the house by 4:30am most mornings with the exception of tomorrow... she has to be out of the house by 3:30am. It's month end, and her assistant is off in Las Vegas for the Madonna concert. Can I say I am jealous? (BTW, Madonna is a plaguerist - a hot plaguerist, but one nonetheless... one day people will understand there aren't any original ideas out there anymore - we just reuse and recycle...)

Thursday night, we were given a call from Deanna and asked if we could breifly kitty sit for her brother. We were the foster parents of 4 month old "Biggie", a name we didn't know until the next morning, so we were calling him everything else under the sun. He was adorable! And he adored Lindi. He would jump up on the bed and run the length of Lindi's body until he got to her face and then just stare at her... or plop himself on her head. He was completely comfortable with everyone and even took to sleeping on Sarah's back when we were watching TV...

Friday was uneventful. Sarah wasn't feeling well, so she slept most of the night away after her migraine, so we laid low. Both Lindi and Sarah had to work on Saturday, so I was home alone. I got to talk with Tre for a little while and discussed the positive values of a tongue piercing (heh heh), then ran to the store for the makings of homemade chicken pot pie with rolls for dinner. My sister and brother in law stopped by, and got to witness the creation of the pie itself, and I think they were impressed (chuckle). I love visiting with my sister. She's such a crack up. Plus, she got to go to the Styx concert at Usana the other night... they are great in concert. Sarah spent the night with Grandma, so Lindi and I were able to have an evening alone, which was very nice. My pot pie turned out wonderful!! We ended up in bed at 9 since Lindi had to be up so early.

On Sunday, Lindi and I awoke at 4am, I fixed her some toast and stayed awake with her to help her get up and out the door. I tried to go back to sleep but I definately couldn't, so I grabbed some sweats and ran to Village Inn, picked up breakfast and met Lindi at her store to have breakfast with her while watching the sunrise. It was very reminiscent of our dating days when I would spend the night at her house and she would have to go to work in the morning... and I wouldn't want to go home. It was a great morning.

I went home and napped until about 10:30, then woke up and had bonding time with my babies. Miss and Mister were getting along great and I was pleasantly surprised to see Mickey out and about! He actually came over next to me and sniffed my extended hand - but wouldn't get close enough for me to pet him. He just rubbed up and down the side of my bed. I really didn't want to push the issue, but it seems he's starting to come out more often. And the cutest things I've ever seen - Mister (my little gentleman) loves to clean Miss. He must be a neat freak. I actually saw him cleaning Mickey... and Mickey let him! Miceky stayed close to my bed and actually took a nap right next to me while I was dozing. Great steps. When I woke up a couple horus later, I gave them their weekly treat (a plate of soft food - only available when Big Mom and The Kid aren't home... special Cuddly Mom treat).

Sarah came home from her Grandma's around 11:30am. She cleaned like a mad woman to await the arrival of Jessica and Jennifer, her two friends, for a sleepover. Since Grandma and Grandpa were in Wendover for a golfing tournament, I hosted Sunday Family Dinner at our place. I made spaghetti with meat sauce, homemade garlic bread and the girls made Oatmeal Scotchie cookies for dessert. Bill and Beth brought a beautiful garden green salad and we ate and enjoyed each others company... then watched Blazing Saddles. Good God, I forgot how funny that movie was!

So, this morning, one of the girls has gone home, and we have adopted the other to stay with us through our throw together pot-luck BBQ with the neighbors. Even Lindi doesn't know we're doing one! I'm making potato salad and we still have a ton of the beautiful green salad from last night and BBQ chicken (1.97/lb for boneless skiness chicken breasts at Albertsons! Go get some!)

I am just enjoying the day with my Diet Coke and Law and Order Marathon until Lindi gets home. Then more food and more friends!!

Hope everyone has a safe and happy Memorial Day!

Friday, May 28, 2004

I Knew this would Happen...

I am a schmuck. Seriously. All the time.

I have a friend who is now the Volunteer Coordinator for the Don't Amend campaign, sponsored by Equality Utah. Basically, Utah is trying to pass the same Consitutional Amendment locally that Dubya is trying to get passed Nationally. Their job is to reveal the amendment for what it is - bad news.

Anyway, she just got the job on Monday.

And as of today, Friday, I have been appointed a Volunteer Captain. Well, more like, begged to be a Volunteer Captain.

Keeeeeriiist Almighty.

At least I will feel like I am doing something. It will remind me of my College Days campaigning and getting all active up in this shit.

Now I need to go buy a black suit jacket. And blouses. And nylons. Argh.

Courtesy of Tre

create your own personalized map of the USA

A little explanation - I have only seen Kansas and Texas in their airports, but I am counting it. Alaska is added, but I will be visiting there in a couple of months, so I am counting it. Pffffppppppttt!!

This is why I love my Job…

Newlyweds Traci Freebairn and Jason Hawk married on their planned wedding day-they just didn't expect to be accompanied by two nurses from the Neuro Critical Care unit. The night before their wedding, at the rehearsal dinner, Freebairn suffered a stroke. She was rushed to U Hospital where the Neuro team gave her tPA (Tissue Plasminogen Activator), a drug that stops stroke damage if administered within a few hours of a stroke's occurrence. The tPA worked so well that the wedding took place the next day in UH's Hope Chapel, with more than 50 family and friends from all over the country in attendance.

"It wasn't how I pictured, but it was how I dreamed I'd feel," Freebairn said. "Everyone has been awesome," she said of the nurses and doctors who cared for her.

Teamwork pulled it off… The Neuro team, Neuro Critical Care staff, and social workers all made it happen.

In’nt that sweet?

I don’t know exactly why I am here at work today. More than half of the employees have taken the day off to get a jump-start on the Memorial Day holiday. It should make for a rather productive day, though. I will probably get more done today than I have all week.

The bonus of today is that I found out my favorite Blue Cross rep from when I worked at Pioneer is still at Blue Cross! I got to talk to her this morning and it made me smile. She remembered me, too, and gave me her personal line so I can just call her if I have an issue. I tell ya, that girl cuts through red tape faster than a chainsaw. I am very pleased.

I guess I should tell y’all about Mother Sugar. Since I didn’t blog on Wednesday, you are probably curious about my appointment.

I love that her office is right around the corner from my house, it makes it hella convenient. I hate her waiting room. It’s tiny, only room for about 2 bodies. I had to do some serious deep breathing to avoid a total claustrophobic attack. Loved the office décor, very Asian and very serene. Probably good for a therapist. Anywho, she is in her 40’s and a very attractive lady.

We started out small, just getting the gist of who I am and what I am facing right now in my life. She was very empathetic and understanding. She also has a fantastic sense of humor.

Hmmm… what can I tell you about the session… I learned that the method I’ve been using with Sarah isn’t the method I should be using… I learned that I need to give up parenting Sarah and give it to Lindi totally and completely for the time being (which is right in line with what the Lovely Kristen said)… I learned that Lortab is a Depressant, and while I’ve been taking it for my pain, any other attempts at medication for depression were moot… that was a revelation… we established the connection between body pain and depression… I cried a few times… Mother Sugar made me… just kidding… I really like her style of therapy. She really just relayed back what I was saying to establish what I was thinking and we can really get into the heart of the matter in later sessions. The hour appointment ended up lasting about 90 minutes since I was her last appointment of the day. She wants me to think about specifics in terms of what I want to get out of our sessions.

My insurance is fabulous about therapy appointments – I have 20 authorized with a simple copay of $15, just like a medical doctor. When my insurance changes in July, I even get the first 5 sessions after July 1 for no charge. We established an every-other-week schedule on Tuesdays. I think I would have really liked every week, but honestly, I didn’t want to depend on her too much and since I am not in the middle of a major psychosis, I should be fine. She told me to call her if I wanted another appointment in the meantime. I know that sounds weird, to be afraid of becoming dependant on a therapist, but that’s a fear of mine. And with Water aerobics twice a week, it might be a little much for me to handle right now.

Moving on… Lindi and I picked out the new tile for our downstairs bathroom. It’s a pretty greenish blue marble – very light. It will lighten that bathroom tremendously. I think I know what we will be doing this weekend!

Oh, and you guys gotta help me decide what to do for Lindi’s 35th birthday on the 10th of July. It’s a Saturday, so I was thinking of christening the yard and having a BBQ birthday party. I am sure our neighbors wouldn’t object, they would probably love to help. I think I will get the ball rolling on that one. I’ll call her brother and see if he will bring over her BBQ and her father would bring tables and chairs. She will say something like, “I don’t want anything big, we have to save for Alaska…” Whatever. She’s gonna be 35. We need to party.

Speaking of party, I need to get back to work. It’s a party riot around here, let me tell ya. Have a good Friday before a Holiday!

Drink of the day: House Cafe with Vanilla and cream
CD on the Playa: still Kelly Clarkson Thankful

Thursday, May 27, 2004

And in Honor of Geoffrey

I re-did my desktop, too. Gorgeous, ain't she?

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

And you expected???

Discover your Zodiac Personality
Discover your Zodiac Personality @ Quiz Me

The Day After...

I wasn't doing well yesterday, so I stayed home with the wifey. Back was killing me, and my medication made me sick to my stomach hard core. I slept and watched TV, that was pretty much the extent of my day.

Our plane tickets for Alaska are bought, our rooms in Seattle are being reserved, and my one day of fishing is booked! I am so excited to deep sea fish in Alaska. I don't care if I do anything else but fish for five hours. I will be happy! It looks like our stateroom will be perfect, even though there is no elevator access. That's okay, it's either up one flight or down one flight to most activities. I am so stoked.

Looks like we will be spending the night in Seattle on the night of the 7th and again the night of the 15th. Looks like I'd better get in touch with Alicia so we can meet up!

And, as predicted, Fantasia won American Idol. I knew Diana didn't have the fan base to pull that one off. Like I'd said before, it would have been interesting to see LaToya and Fantasia in the final two. I am pleased, Fantasia is a great singer, with amazing talent. I can't wait for the CD's to start coming out.

And I still like Kelly Clarkson the best.

Gore is not happy with Bush. Big shock. But his comments are right on the money. "The unpleasant truth is that President Bush's utter incompetence has made the world a far more dangerous place and dramatically increased the threat of terrorist attacks against the United States." Well said.

Oh, and go here to get in on the cosmetics settlement. I did.

Drink of the day: Diet Coke
CD on the Playa:Kelly Clarkson Thankful

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

No, Are you Serious?

Will the real Andy Kaufman Please Stand Up?

I am all for performance art. But if this is real, then we have just experienced the most dramatic performance art of our generation.

Andy Kaufman is alive. And he has a blog.

At least, that's what the press release says.

Here's a snippet: "Andy says that he plans to maintain his low key lifestyle that he has led for the past twenty years. He has resumed contact with friends and family. Fearing the possibility of this scenario and the potential for another hoax, Kaufman's family has contracted with independent auditors Ernst & Young to determine if this in fact the real Andy Kaufman. He has subjected himself to medical examination and submitted DNA, hair, blood and fingerprint samples to the auditors. Ernst & Young and the Kaufman family report that with a 99% probability, this is indeed the real Andy Kaufman. His mother says, "It's good to have Andy back."

WTF??!?! Is this for REAL?!?!

If so, I'll bet he's pissed that SNL sucks so hard core.

Happiness Is...

Happiness Is...

Pastrami on stone ground whole wheat with Grey Poupon. And Cheetos. Seriously.

Water Aerobics is not for Wussies

Water Aerobics is not for Wussies

Let me tell ya.

I spent 45 minute trying to find the class to begin with since it's on the monstrous campus, but I was grateful that I did. The teacher is, of course, 10 years younger than I am, but the other's in class were around my age, so I didn't feel self conscious. The water felt amazing.

I did ab crunches for the first time in I don't know how long - without pain. I twisted, stretched, flexed my body completely pain free. I was able to feel the burn without worrying if I would be able to move in the morning. It was a great 45 minute workout.

Added bonus: College girls on the diving team. 'nuff said.

I got a complete shock when I got out of the pool, however. My body felt so heavy that all I wanted to do was get back in the pool.

I showered and came home, ate dinner, ironed for Lindi, then went upstairs and collapsed on my bed and didn't move for love nor money. My back let me know it wasn't happy, so I took a small dose of muscle relaxant, just to curb it before it started, and it worked great. No pain killers needed. Unreal.

I slept like a baby and woke up to my wifey cuddled lovingly behind me. Pure heaven.

This morning is good. I woke up hungry. I can't remember the last time my metabolism told me to eat early in the day! Bagel and banana before 8 am. Fabulous.

Work is going well. I feel much better about my position now that I know I am doing what I am supposed to, and the evaluation didn't hurt matters.

I am not sure if I am looking forward to my appointment with Mother Sugar tonight or not. She sounded simply lovely on the phone and I have to remember that I am doing this for self improvement. I have to take care of myself before I can take care of anyone. Sh-yeah right.

I AM looking forward to a dinner party we are having with Christopher and Teinamarrie afterward. So, get through one to get to the other? We were invited because, as another person put it, "You HAVE to invite those lesbians!" I think I am gonna have a t-shirt made that says "I am one of THOSE lesbians!" (And I'm gonna make Tre one that says "Are you missing your Girlfriend? Check my bed!" Heh heh... just playin'. Sorta.)

Have a fabulous Tuesday. And if you have nothing planned for dinner, you could always call Dominoes. Tuesday 2-fer...

Drink of the day: Diet Coke
CD on the Playa: Metallica with the Symphony - awesome

Monday, May 24, 2004

Got My First Performance Review...

Perfect 3.0.

On my first week.

129% of production met. I was only supposed to meet 70%.

Oh, my life is so hard. *giggle*

Well, off to aerobisize wet and half naked... wish me luck!

I tried some other templates

I Tried Some other Templates...

But I really didn't care for them too much, so I am still working on it. So, in the meantime, I put my old standby back up. Argh.

Things are well. Quiet weekend, a two+ hour phone conversation with the lovely Tre, and time with the family. We saw Shrek II and I would highly recommend it to those with a good sense of humour. There was a lot for the adult set, parody's and other fun things besides it being a kid's movie. I think it's probably better than the first one.

I put in my request for vacation in August, and I am so exited. Looks like I will be able to accumulate about 29 hours in comp time prior to my vacation so I won't have to use the whole 54 hours I have accrued at once. Plus, comp time accumulates at time and a half, and since I have to stay later twice a week before my water aerobics class, I might as well work it. We will see how that goes over, but I am sure it will be no problemo.

Water aerobics! Can I say I am totally thrilled? Tonight is class, tomorrow is my appt with Mother Sugar and Wednesday is class again. Wow. I have a life! I had to invest in a day planner so I could keep track of my appointments. It's really cute, too.

Oh, and the new Alanis CD ROCKS! I love it completely!

Sarah made herself a blog. Welcome to the new generation of bloggers!

Hope your Monday is a good one!

Drink of the day: House Cafe' with Irish Creme and a banana
CD on the Playa: Alanis So-Called Chaos

Friday, May 21, 2004

I'm Working it Out

How do ya like the new layout?

Drink of the day: Diet Coke
CD on the Playa:Bill's "Work Beats"

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Who ME??!?!!

The Peach

Guess I'm Growing Up

Someone said something that hurt me deeply and I tried to look inside myelf and get to the bottom of it. And I realized something really important.

I'm not in High School anymore.

My opinion of myself isn't tied into what other people think of me. It isn't a ball of self image hinged on whether or not someone likes me. The only opinion that matters is mine.

So if you are one of the great many people who seemingly have been making fun of me or making jokes at my expense, or thinly veiling your sharp digs and pointed comments behind vague words, I've got news for you. Continue doing whatever you want because as of now, your opinions don't matter. You show your true colors more and more. If your love and respect is that conditional, then I don't want it or need it in my life.

I once protected people with everything. I would go to the matresses for them, so to speak. Now I see that it is not reciprocated, and in fact celebrated, when I need the same compassion. I am not your personal clown.

I give of myself freely, love openly and unconditionally. And I will continue to do so. But I am a little more wiser as to who gets that priviledge in my life now.

Thanks for the lesson.

Thanks, Stacey

I sat under an oak tree on a summer day, drinking iced tea and visiting with my mother.

"Don't forget your Girlfriends", Mother advised, clinking the ice cubes in her glass. “No matter how much you love your husband, you are still going to need Girlfriends. Remember to go places with them now and then; and do things with them, even when you don't necessarily want to, And remember that Girlfriends are not only friends, but sisters, daughters, mothers, grandmothers and other relatives too. Women supporting and relating to other women is our responsibility and our gift.”

"What a funny piece of advice," I thought. "Hadn't I just gotten married? Hadn't I just joined the couple-world? I was now a married woman, for goodness sake, not some young girl who needed friends!" But I listened to my Mom. I kept in contact with my Girlfriends and even found some new ones along the way.

As the years tumbled by, one after another, I gradually came to understand that Mom really knew what she was talking about! Here is what I know about Girlfriends:

Girlfriends bring casseroles and scrub your bathroom when you need help;
Girlfriends keep your children and your secrets.
Girlfriends give advice when you ask, sometimes you take it and sometimes you don't.
Girlfriends don't always tell you you're right, but they usually tell the truth.
Girlfriends still love you, even when they disagree with your choices.
Girlfriends laugh with you and don't need canned jokes to start the laughter.
Girlfriends pull you out of jams.
Girlfriends don't keep a calendar of who hosted the other's last big party, You are simply welcome. Girlfriends will celebrate for your son or daughter when they get married or have a baby, in whichever order that happens.
Girlfriends are there for you in an instant, and when the hard times come.
Girlfriends listen when you lose a job or a friend.
Girlfriends listen when your children break your heart.
Girlfriends listen when your parents' minds and bodies fail.

My daughter, sisters, family, and friends bless my life! When we began this adventure, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.

So, I made it to work. Don’t ask me how because I don’t entirely know. Got a bagel, got a banana, I should be okay.

I was pleased with the results of American Idol last night. Don’t get me wrong, I liked Jasmine, but her talent simply didn’t exceed the level of the other two. I think if LaToya would have made it to the final three, like she should have, Diana would have gone home last night, and that would have made me sad. I think Fantasia’s voice, while not my favorite, is the most disciplined and ready for market. I haven’t cared for her much, until she sang, “What Are You Doing For the Rest of Your Life.” The woman made me cry, it was so beautiful. Diana’s voice is pure and young, she will definitely have a long career. I loved it when she sand “Don't Cry Out Loud” – and punched those long notes. That girl can SAAANG!

Personally, I can’t wait for LaToya’s, Fantasia’s and Diana’s CDs to come out. You know they are going to. There is no doubt in my mind.

I signed up for a Water Aerobics class twice a week up here at the U with my friend Vera… she is such a funny lady and can make even exercise seem like a night at the bar. I am actually excited. Maybe I can get some flexibility back and get in better shape for Alaska in August.

Well, back to work. Love to all. Share the love, leave a message.

Drink of the day:Diet Coke, coffee hurts my tummy
CD on the Playa: Bill's "Work #1"... some great stuff... NIN, Barenaked Ladies and more...

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

From Jason at Quietwater

Cheetos are poison.

Really? Know what I think?

FUCK YOU, JASON!!! Damn you to hell for your abomination!

That's all I have to say about that.

Home Alone

I wasn't feeling very well at all, so I took off from work early, picked up the new Alanis CD for my honey and fell into bed. I must have been hit with the flu or something really didn't settle in my stomach. Lindi and Sarah went to dinner with Grandma and it looks like they are out catching a movie or shopping before coming home. I fell asleep on top of the covers and woke up 3 hours later.

So I am by myself, very weak and anticipating American Idol.

Yeah for me.

Euro-Trash Girl

Bill's music must be getting to me...

Last night was a great night. Sarah and I were alone since Lindi had to close the restaurant, so we went and got our nails done, went to dinner, talked openly and went home and watch American Idol. (GO DIANA!) Sarah picked out my nail color, which looks a lot like a purple easter egg with rainbow reflection...

Send your love and support out to Lindi, she's having a rough time with some of her employees and could use all the positive energy she can get!

Work is - well, work. I am loving my 7-3:30 shift, it gives me more time at the end of the day to get things done. It is also helpful with the doctor appointments I'm scheduling. I'm also going to get into a water aerobics class as soon as I can find one close to the house, maybe at the High School.

I am really okay with me today. I am happy that I have stayed true to my feelings and expressed them. I feel lighter and better about things today. I am surrounded by positive feedback and refuse to lower my expectations in my relationships. Those who have my back will have my back whether or not I am having a bad day, week, month, year... and they shine through, especially now. I am so lucky.

Thanks out to Pixie, for her constant support online. I am so glad I know you! Too bad we can't meet up in SF when you go to visit Tre... now THAT would be a party...

Drink of the day: Diet Coke
CD on the Playa: Bill's "work #3"

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Stupid Horoscopes

Enough with your emotions. Use your head. This one is going to require some logic.

You're thinking a lot. You're also noticing things that could be improved. Fix what needs to be fixed -- step outside of your everyday role and be a momentary superhero. The people you save will be eternally grateful.

Oh, and give it up for our girl DIANA DEGARMO!!!

I Got Myself a Mother Sugar

Reference to Pixie and her pet name for her therapist. I called an have an appointment with a wonderful therapist referred to me. She sounded absolutely delightful on the phone. It will be nice to get outside perspective to the inner workings of my life.

Big apologies to those who emailed me about my comments being down. I have NO idea what the deal is, but I republished and it looks like they are up.

Oh, and Lindi told me she intends on updating her blog today. I am holding my breath... heh heh.

Nothing Else Matters

After a tough day at work, I came home a little a lot exhausted and worn out. As I walked in the door, a voice from upstairs yelled, “Drop your stuff and come upstairs. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.”


Okay, I thought, and headed upstairs to find my wifey and my daughter had set up dinner in the bedroom. I was informed that it was pamper Connie day, and was shown a bag of my favorite chips, one of my favorite pastries, my favorite cookies, two Diet Cokes and dinner from my favorite Chinese American Restaurant. I was told to get in my jammies and relax.

I was so touched by their thoughtfulness. Lindi ran off for a minute and Sarah came to me and said, "You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong if you don’t want to, but if you do, I am here." I hugged her tight and started to cry (I’m even tearing up as I type this). I told her that it’s all going to be okay and that I love her and I hope she knows it. She said she does, and comforted me with sweet words and gentle, soothing caresses.

What an amazing heart my daughter has. I think if she could have taken my internal pain inside herself, she would have done it. Even at 15, I can see the wonderful woman she will become.

So, we enjoyed sesame chicken, pork lo mein, lemon chicken, crab & cream cheese wonton and rice and watched MTV’s Inferno (I am a total Real World addict) and just were. They played cards for a while and we just relaxed with one another for the evening. It was wonderful to be around people with no judgement who just care about you and what you are going through.

While watching TV, someone on a show said something that completely caught me off guard and has stuck with me even this morning. "Love and Fear cannot live in the same house."

What does that really mean? After giving it some real thought, I came to the conclusion that it simply means you cannot live in one and have the other in your heart, as they cannot exist together side by side. Either you love, or you are afraid. So, to be afraid that you will lose those you love means you aren’t loving them to your full capacity to begin with. How truly profound.

My new focus now will be to live fearless so that I may love to my full extent – and maybe for the first time, love freely and openly. I have been paralyzed by fear for many years, and it was such a central theme in my recent reading, that it’s obvious that I have been operating out of my fear alone. As Kristen said, I am in fight or flight.


I am still pretty wiped out today, and I have a headache I hope my coffee and some Tylenol will cure. I am going to try and really apply myself today at work and get as much done as humanly possible. Stretch my legs, so to speak.

Shout outs for the day:
G-fry, I’m sorry – I didn’t send your card yet. I will put it in the box when I get home. Sorry I’ve been so flakey.
Tubbs – quit working so damned hard. You need to enjoy being 18.
Tre – still waiting to hear about your weekend, girl!
Pixie – hope you are feeling better.
Maine – I still want you to be my baby’s daddy. *chuckle*

Drink of the day: Raspberry Café Mocha with x espresso
CD on the Playa: Bill’s "A little bit of everything" – I only have about 10 more CDs to go through! He has some great music compilations. Where can you find Lords of Acid, Metallica, Depeche Mode and the Eagles on the same CD?

From the Peanut Gallery

You said what you needed to, and it's up to others how they take it. You are not responsible for other people's feelings, just your own... it seems like we always get shit on and taken advantage of... We are the ones who allow it to happen. Continue being the wonderful person that you are.

This is why I have surrounded myself with loving and caring people.

Thank You.

Monday, May 17, 2004

And I Am Reminded

A voice from long ago and deep inside of me crept up during the last few days and said, "Enough."

It said, "You don't have to be anything to anyone except what you want to be to yourself."

For the guidance of others, I am grateful. But this is my experience and my reality, no one elses.

I am not perfect. I don't try to be - anymore. I refuse to be labled by anyone - anymore.

I am getting real with those around me and I know some cannot and will not like it. I may lose friends I have had my whole life. I may alienate even more. My family may shake their heads at me and wonder what is going on.

Regardless, at the very least, I can say, "This is me. No filter. No pretense. This is who I am and how I feel and what I think. I don't apologize for any of it - anymore."

I will not pussy-foot around the truth anymore to please a world I cannot control, nor have I ever controlled. I will not adapt myself to what other people want me to be, think or feel.

I am my number one priority. My health, physically and emotionally, is in peril and I will rectify that. I will no longer ask permission to take care of myself. As long as I am alright with myself, then I have done what I am here on this earth to do. I cannot take care of anyone if I am in shambles.

This is it. Take it or leave it. Talk to me in honesty. No sugar coating. It serves no purpose.

If you can handle a relationship based on honesty, then you will probably be okay with everything. It's really not my concern if you are or you aren't. You will do what's right for you. I cannot change you or your feelings.

My hope, however, is that those who know me the best and have seen me at my worst will stick around. If not, then it is what is meant to be.

I am grateful for the lesson.

I Wanna Be A Cowboy, Bay-bee

This was a good weekend, all in all. Lots of learning and introspective thought and a bit of cleaning house.

Friday night was a quiet night, dinner, TV and sleep since both Lindi and Sarah had to work in the morning.

I woke up on Saturday and was inspired to do a little cleaning. So I dove into the closet (stop laughing) and pulled out clothes I haven’t worn in 6 months, sorted them into boxes or throw out bags, then started on my shoes. I only kept 6 pairs of shoes. That’s it. I put all of our Rubbermaid containers back in the closet in a nice and orderly fashion, and then started on the shelves. My clothes took up 3 of the 6 shelves in our closet. They only take up one now. Karen came over to use the computer and we chatted while I went through clothes and found some beautiful work clothes both she and Summer could wear – so they were sent next door. There are three large bags of clothes that I can either toss or set aside for our HUGE multi-family yard sale on June 19th. Lindi was quite surprised when she came home – it is something she’s wanted me to do ever since we moved in together. She has more room, and I arranged the closet so her work clothes hang perfectly after I iron them. Big pet peeve.

Saturday night, we were childless, so we decided to spend time together, having dinner and relaxing, even going to bed early. I couldn’t sleep, so I snuck off to the computer and cleaned off a lot of old files on the hard drive, burned some CDs to get songs off the hard-drive, ran cleanup and defrag, and now my computer is a whole new being. It runs so much faster, it's unbelievable.

Sunday, we woke up late and got ready for brunch with friends at Squatters. It was great to connect with them after so long, and it's almost for sure that I will be working USANA again this year for Wasatch Pizza. I guess it helps to know the owners. All the proceeds from that will go to the Alaska fund, that's for sure. I forgot how much I love Squatters, especially for Sunday brunch – they have $1 Mimosas and Bloody Marys! MMMMMmmmm... Mimosas.

We came home from brunch and talked some more, took a nap and then got ready for Sunday dinner with Lindi's family. Instead of dinner at the family abode, we tromped off to Red Lobster, since Lindi's mom didn't really want to cook. Lobster, crab, shrimp – everything was perfect. Beth is still having morning sickness, but she was luckily able to handle the smells in the restaurant without being sick. The rest of the evening was spent with my girls at home, burning CDs, listening to music and just enjoying one another's company.

I did have my first dream about Bill & Beth's baby, and it was a curly redheaded boy. I will wait for 2 more dreams before my gut tells me for sure. I have yet to be wrong, so we will see. Watch it – this baby will be the one to break the streak!

And, back at work, plugging away. Sometimes I think I need a vacation from my weekend.

I also took stock in the dynamics of some of my relationships and stood up for myself for once. I expressed my feelings to a friend, who in turn, took on my pain. For that, I am sorry. I am not sorry for how I felt or for trusting my friend with my feelings, but I am sorry she took them on. This has seemed to cause a ripple effect, with people making statements about it.

So, here is my statement.

Honestly, I am glad I have friends such as these who are willing to stick up for themselves and for one another. Truthfully, however, this was my issue. I entrusted someone with my emotions and rather than receiving feedback, I now feel guilty for it. This is exactly why I have lived my entire life with a filter. Look what happens when I don't.

I realize people have lives outside of me. That's the way it should be. We are not one incestuous group of people who need to be constantly in each other's lives and business.

All I have ever asked was to be included. I am sorry if that is too much for certain people to do. Their loss.

I never said my friend was a bad person, a bad friend, not willing to help anyone out. I never said my friend was negative or a lousy human being. I never said this person was responsible for everyone - and in fact said the exact opposite. I never said any of these things! I am sorry that is all she seemed to hear when I talked about my feelings of hurt and how I should get past them. I have emailed a detailed apology, and have yet to receive a response. The ball is in your court.

I refuse to continue to make myself physically ill over it anymore.

This whole fucking thing was blown way out of proportion. No one needs to make statements about statements about shit. This has to do with me. Frankly, if anyone wants to remain my friend, they will take the good with the bad, because there is a lot of good that comes. I tend to be thoughtful, giving, loving, spontaneous, nurturing and supportive no matter what. I cherish my friends and love them unconditionally. There is no need to pin our entire friendship on the fact that I had a painful emotional day.

And, whether or not anyone likes it, Sarah is my daughter. She is my responsibility and my joy. I plan on having another child within the next two years. I will not apologize for being a mother, or for enjoying being a mother, even when things are difficult. I am sorry if that is too much for some people to comprehend. I thought we were all above that.

I guess I will learn to keep my opinions and feelings to my own fucking self.

Drink of the day: Cafe Mocha x espresso
CD on the Playa: Bill's Work CD #3

Saturday, May 15, 2004

This site is certified 31% EVIL by the Gematriculator

Only Have A Minute

Just gonna say that I am done with people who hurt me and who don't think to include me in their lives. I am done with being walked on and ignored. I am done with giving my energy and getting nothing in return. I am done with those who say they are going to do something and then don't do it. I am done seeking approval of others.

I am done with those who I don't need in my life.

I am worth more.

I am more.

Friday, May 14, 2004

Congratulations, Denise!

My sister got a call from the Director of Outpatient Surgery and was offered a new position in their area. This is something she has wanted for a long time - day shift, weekends and holidays off, set schedule, real breaks and lunches. I know she will be an asset to whatever department she is in and this is an excellent move for her.

Good job, sistah!

Sippin' on Gin and Juice...

I wish.

I am having a pretty good day. Trying to get into a special project we need to have completed, and I am lacking for motivation. But, hell, I am here and doing my best.

I am rather drained still. I am looking forward to this weekend to recoup and sleep a little more, get some reading in, and really take care of myself and some things I want to accomplish. I want to burn some CDs. I really want to go thru my closet and throw out old clothes and shoes, and I know Lindi would love that. I need to look at things to include in the Yard Sale we are having on June 19th, too.

I need to learn how to replace a zipper. Argh. Never done it.

Upon inspiration, I decided one of the happiest times I can recall is when the "gang" used to get together just to chat and hang out on Lorene's lawn. I thought, hey, why can't we still do that? Yeah, it's been about 10 years, but other than our busy lives, why haven't we? So, I sent out invitations to the gang, and hopefully a majority of them can make it. My lawn, blankets and law chairs, munchies and beverages, music and conversation. It would do a spirit good!

Hope your Friday goes quickly!

Drink of the day: Irish Creme cafe and fruit
CD on the Playa: Bill's CDs

Thursday, May 13, 2004

88 Lines About 44 Women...

Lindi's brother has an extensive music collection and did the unthinkable - he lent me about 2500 songs. I am now purusing through his CDs and writing down some of the highlights... the songs I want to burn myself!

Yesterday was good. I started the process of getting real with the people in my life that I wanted to be with me on my journey. The responses ranged from "yeah, and???" to "Sorry, I won't be on this journey with you."

My favorite was Toni. It started with a heartfelt message expressing my love for her and Rob and how much I value her friendship.

Toni: "Are you dying?"

ME: "No, honey. I'm not."

Toni: "Am I dying?"

ME: "We will all die eventually. But no, that is not the reason for the email. Just something that needed to be said."

Toni: "We love you too, but I still think someone is dying..."

Leave it to Toni to make me laugh during something serious.

I came home and found my wifey in the kitchen cooking dinner and a beautiful array of fresh berries and fruit, cheese and crackers, and an icey Diet Coke waiting for me. She had called earlier in the day and asked what I wanted for dinner. Instead of saying, "Whatever you want" I told her that I had been craving cheese, fruit and crackers. Voila! I also wanted a bath before dinner, so Lindi helped me run it, and helped me into it, and I enjoyed a lesiurely bath before a great dinner.

Amazing what you can accomplish when you ... um... communicate...

Drink of the day: Diet Coke and water
CD on the Playa: "Music for Work" via Bill

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

What Color is Your Brain?

brought to you by Quizilla

At work or in school: I like to be with people, sharing with them, inspiring them, and helping them. I work and learn best when I can take into consideration people and the human element. I flourish in an atmosphere of cooperation.
With friends: I always look for perfect love. I am very romantic, and enjoy doing thoughtful things for others. I am affectionate, supportive and a good listener.
With family: I like to be happy and loving. I am very sensitive to rejection from my family and to family conflicts. I really like to be well thought of and need frequent reassurance. I love intimate talks and warm feelings.

Rising Above...

I had an extremely powerful reading with Kristen last evening. I am certain I cried through the majority of it, but I am also certain I needed to. The previous readings I have had with her were happy, playful but intuitive readings. This one was different, it was powerful, emotional and draining.

Nothing came as a surprise to me, but it was good to have a little guidance in a whirlwind of uncertainty. I tried not to take too much of her energy, but my emotions just overflowed and I cried and cried.

Highlights? Hmmm... without too much detail:

I am coming to a place of truth and clarity. My illusions are bursting and I am getting real. And it’s painful. I am completing a cycle, something is ending, something else is beginning. Something major is going to shift in the next few months. I am being asked to heal an old pattern of looking for validation elsewhere in life in relationships. I am to start parenting myself, taking care of my emotional needs, and be available for me. I am a romantic and tend to "triangulate". Meaning, I have a primary relationship and I get something going on the side, whether it be an intense friendship, love interest or activity to distract from the primary focus. I am avoiding intimacy that way... keeping options open, knowing where my escape routes are.

I am very afraid right now – very despairing. I am afraid about money, relationships, health. I am to name the fear so it’s not just rolling around. I am to stop the worry cycle, stop the anxiety. It is impacting my health.

I will find my own heart, find my internal lover, find my center, find my own vision, express my emotions. I have to express what I need. Lots of communication. Write to get clarity. It is a powerful time to get some therapy for an outlet, for support, for mirroring. It would be a good idea for me to get regular counseling, regular support, get some coaching, as I will need help to navigate.

As I work to coming to center, to authentic self, to communicating truth, I will have a creative and spiritual breakthrough. It is a loaded time, very powerful time. I am waking up from illusion. But the gift of it is finding my truth. That is where true creativity, true faith lives. Just breathe.

I am really wanting to grow up, not wanting to settle, wanting a loving and empowering relationship with someone to show up to comfort a terrified little kid.

To get there, I must find the positive. I must get moving. I must own my emotions. I must communicate.

Like I said, it was a very powerful, tumultuous reading. There’s a lot more that I won’t be sharing, but there it is in a nutshell.

She recommended a kinesiologist, which essentially is a doctor who treats physical pain and emotional pain, as they are tied to one another. By alleviating emotional pain, it frees up the body to release the physical pain and heal itself. I made an appointment for July. He’s pretty booked.

I went home, ate dinner and collapsed into sleep. I was physically and emotionally exhausted. This morning, I still am. I feel empty, like a cup that had been filled with black oil, poured out and cleaned and I am ready to be filled with crystal clean water. I had been holding a lot inside and it helped to get it all out.

Luckily for me, I get to have lunch with Steph & Kristen tomorrow, so I will be able to talk about happy things and reconnect with them. I have missed them so much. I think I will tell them so.

I think I will start telling everyone.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Sneak Attack Numero 2

Yeah, it's me, Tubbs, and I'm totally taking over up in this bi-atch.

Be afraid.

I'm doing this only shortly so that I can send a big shout out to Connie, my personal goddess, and to say happy mother's day to her and her boo (a little late, but still).

So, now back to your regularly scheduled Connie-Musings.


Drink of the day: Mango Lasse
CD on the Playa: NPR

A Funny From Pixie...

Bushism 42: "And so, in my State of the-- my State of the Union-- or state-- my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation-- I asked Americans to give 4,000 years-- 4,000 hours over the next-- the rest of your life-- of service to America. That's what I asked-- 4,000 hours."

Um, ok.

I am doing a bit better today. Still having back issues, but I am upright and breathing, so I can't complain too much.

Besides, it's Bagel Day. No one can be sad on Bagel Day.

Thanks to Danielle for the memory (see below). I need more. GIMME MORE! If you are here, create a memory for me. I want to know the sordid past I didn't experience.

Drink of the day: House Cafe' with Irish Creme shot
CD on the Playa: still listening to Melissa...

Monday, May 10, 2004

Those Wew The Days...

Invent a memory of me and post it in the comments. It can be anything you want, so long as it's something that's never happened. Then post this in your journal so that people can invent memories for you. (I consider the last bit optional if you’d rather not use it in your own blog.)

I have a hum-dunger of a memory for Danielle. *sniff* miss you, girl.

Happy Anniversary to my Honey

22 months together, 7 months married. I love you, Angel.

What a Wonderful World...

This weekend was wonderful and I am paying the consquences of it, that's for damn sure.

Friday was a fun day for me, both Lorene and Tre got their random gifts (although Tre's was supposed to be there an entire week before hand!). Lorene was the victim of G-fry's mother's basket company - who, by the way, did an outstanding job for a very reasonable price. Tre was gifted with The Best of Keith Sweat... and enjoyed it considerably all weekend, I am told. She even enjoyed it enough to burn her mother a copy of it! Damn... maybe she'll burn me a copy since I don't even have it!

Saturday began with a phone call with Tre, then lunch with Lindi and on to shopping for the mothers. For my Mom, I bought her a cleaning pail FULL of supplies, like Pinesol, 409 wipes, Swiffer Dusters, Windex, a new disposible toilet brush, etc. The running joke in our family is that since she got her eyes fixed, she can see all the dirt in her house - and I am in trouble for it. So, I included a Gift Certificate good for 3 hours of housecleaning.

I also ran to the grovery store and went shopping for My Mom's brunch and Lindi's Mom's BBQ on Sunday.

Sunday Morning began with breakfast in bed from Sarah, and presents for Lindi, then packing up the car to run to my Mom's house to fix scrambled eggs with mushrooms and cheese, sausage, bacon, hashbrowns and orange juice for everyone. She loved her cleaning supplies (she giggled and hugged me tight - what a Virgo she is), although She was too busy playing with her Swiffer dusters to even pay attention to the fact that free housecleaning was thrown in! My sister gave her a beautiful musical playing bear, some smellies and a miniture sewing kit that wasn't so miniature.

We then ran home, dropped off stuff, picked up stuff and ran to Lindi's brother's house for her Mom's BBQ. Bill and Beth gave her Mom a card that said, "Grandma... blah blah blah... from Bill, Beth and January 3, 2005." It took her a couple of seconds, but then she got it - BETH IS PREGNANT! We are soo excited, we can't stand it. Beth isn't feeling well, but I am sure that will start to chnge, and I know they will be wonderful parents. Lindi is excited to have a baby around the family now, and Sarah is getting used to the idea that she won't be the only grandchild anymore. I gave Lindi's mom a topiary, Lindi gave her a beautiful earring and bracelet set, and Sarah gave her a canlde from Gold Canyon that she was able to make the label and personalized it just for her. (She also made one for my mom, and my mom was thrilled. She burned it right away) We had filets wrapped in bacon, pasta salad, green salad, baked potatoes and strawberry shortcake for dessert.

We got home and cleaned the house and I fell into bed in some pain. I woke up this morning and I couldn't move without shooting pain going down both legs. I called in and talked with my new boss, and she was very gracious about letting me say home, so I took my meds and went back to bed.

If I hurt this bad just from running around, I have a strange feeling that physical therapy will make me hurt worse. Surgery is starting to look pretty good. Maybe they can do a breast reduction while I am under...

Oh, and by the way WE ARE GOING TO BE AUNTS!!

I'm a little excited.

You Are a Peppermint Cappuccino

You're fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new.
However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like.
You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation. You're the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please.
What Kind Of Coffee Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Friday, May 07, 2004

First Two Questions...

Courtesy of Steph...
Question: If you were given three wishes, what would you wish for and why?
Three Wishes? Hmmmm... I'm gonna be selfish. Well all want world peace yadda yadda yadda...

1. I would wish to be pregnant. And for my sister to be pregnant. I would wish for us BOTH to be pregnant at the same time. And a long vacation for our spouses.... we would drive them insane!

2. I would wish for a fully paid off house for my parents, my brother, my sister and for Lindi and I. A little security for my loved ones.

3. I would wish for Lindi's health to be perfect. It hurts me when she doesn't feel well and there is seemingly nothing we can do about it (arthritis). She's a much happier wifey when she feels well.

Question: Were you REALLY sleeping the Halloween night when you were sleeping next to me and Wayne was sleeping next to Ken and of course Ken and I were sleeping together?? Ha, ha.

I did eventually fall asleep, even though you two made it very difficult. Let's put it this way, I knew exactly what was going on... I'm not a dumb girl! Drunk at the time, yes, but not dumb.

And Honey, you aren't the quietest girl I've slept with.

Wait. I didn't mean it like that. I meant girl I've slept next to...

It Only Hurts When I Breathe...

I really enjoyed the two-hour series finale of Friends. I knew what was going to happen, it was pretty obvious (except for the twin part – that threw me), but when Rachel stood in the doorway and said “I made it off the plane,” I got a lump in my throat. Yes, I am a mushy mush.

ER was fantastic, as always, and I am completely heartbroken that Carter and Kem’s baby died. That was just wrong. I know they are setting it up so that Carter has no “ties” so he could philander about with Abby or someone, but c’mon! We need a happy baby story! None of this give us a baby and then take it away. They’ve done that TWICE in the last 3 weeks, dammit. And I don’t like Sam’s ex-husband. Ick ick icky. He’s gonna beat the shit outta her or something.

I’m starting to think I could definitely write for television. Maybe not comedy, but I am starting to feel pretty good about story-lines. Or maybe they have become too predictable. Yeah, that’s it.

I am at work, and plugging away. I feel like I am being babysat. I know there are rules, and the rules apply to everyone, but I hate it when a little lee-way is taken away because people abuse it. I meet expectations and productivity already in my new job, so wtf is the problem if I have a couple of emails? Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t get called on the carpet. All of the employees got the same schpeal. But wouldn’t it make sense to talk to the one’s who aren’t meeting productivity and are abusing the email and internet policy? Makes sense to me. Oh, and our cell phones need to be turned off at work. That’s okay, I don’t take calls on my cell at work. But if we make a call on our break, we have to take it OUTSIDE the office.

I love my job. I love my employer and the opportunities that have been laid out for me. But I am not a child. If I don’t meet productivity, then bully me all you want. As for other busy-bodies in this office, they should shut the hell up and do their work and quit worrying about what everyone else is doing. They spend more time complaining and back-stabbing than working. Most of the employees here are awesome, and I enjoy interacting with them. But there are those few… I guess you are gonna find that in any large company. Maybe it’s human nature.

Well, as some of you have heard, the Friday Five has been discontinued. So, this is where YOU come in. (This idea inspired by the beautiful Pixie)

Write me a question. Or two. Or Five. Put it below in the comments section. I will answer them on my next break. The first person with a question will definitely get the truth, the others are sketchy.

Drink of the day: Chocolate Milk - seriously
CD on the Playa: Radio and Melissa (god, I am not original, am I?)

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Keep On Keepin' On...

Yup, they are cracking the whip again. I guess more people have gotten in trouble with the internet and email, so they reviewed the policy. Again. Sheesh. Now I can't even surf the web when I am on hold anymore. Well, that's okay. Every couple of hours, I can check my email and the blogs. It's not the end of the world.

Good news – my mother told my father not to pursue the other house. After she did a little figuring, she decided it would be less expensive to have a house built to their expectations than to buy the other house and have it modified. They are looking at a year, and in that time, they are improving my family home with new cabinets, new bathroom tiling and showers, etc. That gives me enough time to dig deep into my finances and get set up for a mortgage. At least then, I can decide if I can let the house be sold or not instead of feeling the pressure to do something about it immediately.

I'm gonna pull my credit reports and probably work with a credit counselor to get everything paid off. I don’t have a TON of debt, just a lot of miscellaneous bullshit that needs to be cleared up. I was on the right track and then just fell off track copletely when Lindi and I moved in together before the wedding. Amazing how your priorities change.

I know I will feel a lot better when I do this. I will feel more in control of my finances instead of my finances controlling me. Then we can think about a baby.

I jammed my toes really good last night while walking around in the dark. Now two of my toes ache like crazy and my foot is throbbing. I am sure I broke one of them, but there's nothing they can do about that, so I’ll just take it easy for the next little while. Add to that my back, which was killing me when I woke up, and the happy allergies that seem to have invaded my eyes this afternoon and I am just peachy keen! Benedryl induced coma – here I come.

Looking forward to the weekend and upcoming week. Saturday is bill paying day and relaxing, Sunday is Mother’s Day, next Tuesday I have a Tarot reading with the lovely Kristen, Thursday is lunch with Stephanie and Kristen and next Friday will be awesome – Jenn is coming over to fix us all dinner and have a game night. I am happy to reconnect with my friends. I miss that. I haven't seen Steph and Kristen in sooo long. Too long.

Love out to Tre'. You sexy mama.

Drink of the day:Diet Coke
CD on the Playa:Melissa Compliation

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

I Am Not a Happy Camper...

I knew it would be a while before I could afford a house. I knew this. It wasn't a shocker. I have debt, I am paying it off. But I guess it's not soon enough.

My parents might be selling their house to buy my great-grandfather's house that just came up for sale. My great-grandfather actually built this home, and it's perfect for my parents. Only two families have ever lived in it - it is immaculate. But in order to do that, they need to sell the house they live in now - the only home I have ever known - the house I was raised in. All of my childhood memories are tied up in that house. All of them.

And I can't buy it.

Even with our two incomes put together, we couldn't do it. No one would finance us, let alone do it in time to get my parents their dream home. I was planning on a year. Not now.

I can do absolutely nothing about it. So, I gave my mom permission on the phone to find a realtor as soon as possible so they can get it on the market.

I am completely heartbroken. I am actually crying at work.

Someone else is gonna live in my home.

I can't even think about it. It's too painful.

Has Anyone Noticed

That Jessica Simpson is the whiney-ist singer on the planet? Good God. Leave "Take My Breath Away" alone! Some things are sacred!

Is Anyone Out There, 'Cause It's Getting Harder and Harder to Breathe...

That title hold no significance, it's just on the radio right now.

I guess I should mention how happy I am that I can pick up radio reception at my cubie now. Couldn't before. There's a perk.

And it's official. I am upper crust here in the office. I got a Rolodex today. Brand new. Wanna touch me, I'm so cool?

The verdict on Sarah is: The double knee scopes did NO GOOD whatsoever. There's 2 grand out of pocket for no apparent reason. Her kneecaps still move at will. She can either have an extensive knee surgery that includes bone grafting or we can start hitting the weights again. We're hitting the weights. And the stationary bike. All of us. Bless her heart. And I am throwing out all of the stupid shoes with the huge soles that she begs her grandmother to buy her so she can be trendy. I know that's part of the problem. Maybe she'll listen to me now.

Drink of the day:House Cafe' with orange shot, double milk
CD on the Playa:radio

Monday, May 03, 2004

Happy Monday Morning!

This weekend was definitely very productive.

Lindi had to work at 3am on Saturday, so when I woke up at 9:00, Sarah and I got started on some serious de-clutter cleaning. Sarah cleaned her room, the kitchen and the living room, while I tackled the master bedroom. I threw stuff away, cleaned off dressers and completely re-organized Lindi's CDs that had been scattered everywhere. She came home to a whole new house!

We had also been discussing the downstairs bathroom, aptly dubbed the "kitty Room", where we put all the toys, litter boxes and food/water dishes. It is carpeted. Who the hell carpets a bathroom? Both bathrooms are like that and it drives us nuts, because it is so hard to keep clean and fresh smelling.

Anywho, we wanted to rip out that carpet, since in the other side of the duplex, their downstairs bathroom has linoleum. We pulled up a patch and saw that the carpet was just laid overtop of the linoleum, so we decided we were going to rip it up and take our chances that the linoleum is in good condition. If not, we were gonna replace it ourselves.

Our landlord doesn't care, as long as it's an improvement, and even encouraged us to attach the bill to our rent check and deduct it from rent. As long as we do the work, he's a happy guy.

So, back to the story... Lindi came home about 3:00, we all ate a late lunch and I put her down for a nap, while I read a book (I was tired from all the cleaning). My sister and brother in law came over for a bit, and Ray (B-I-L) knew about the carpet project. He walked into the bathroom and had the carpet and tack board up and out in 15 minutes. We swept and cleaned the floor and had it done in 1/2 hour! (I gave my B-I-L a "beer basket" for his trouble. He was a happy guy...)

I went upstairs and laid down with Lindi. A friend called and needed some help, so we left and helped them out, and when we came back home, I said, "Well, let's tear up that carpet now that I am up and motivated..." She agreed and walked into a completely finished project! She couldn't believe the three of us had done it while she slept, so all she had to do for the rest of the weekend was relax and laundry. She was a very happy honey-bunny.

I paid the price for all the workout, however. My back was in pain all weekend, even if I didn't show it. We went shopping on Sunday, and finished the bathroom in yellow and blue... with Spongebob accents for Sarah. We are going to make it "her" bathroom... with her portrait from Disneyland on the wall and places for her makeup and things.

Now that it's a lot cleaner and brighter, we all feel better about people visiting the bathroom. We discovered that there had been a flood at some point because there was some black mold around the potty. You bet I Clorox'd that bathroom from top to bottom. The linoleum is coming up around the edges, mostly due to the tack board, so we are going to get some estimates on re-doing it or maybe even putting in some tile. Depending on how much it is, we might even pay for both bathrooms to be done. Like I said, as long as we come up with it up front, the landlord doesn't care. I love our landlord. Never thought I would say that!

Sunday morning, I did take Lindi to breakfast at Jim's and we encountered an entire family dressed in yellow shirts, accompanied by a man in a "sandy" uniform, obviously a returning soldier from Iraq. It brought tears to my eyes. Lindi was watching me and said, "You want to go say something, don't you?" I smiled, and couldn't believe my wife knew me so well.

On our way out, I stopped at their table and said, "You don't know me, but I just wanted to say Thank You and Welcome Home." The soldier, looking a little dazed anyway from the trip home, simply replied, "Thank You, Ma'am." I had to hold my tears in for at about an hour.

So, here I am back at work, in a bit o'pain from this weekends events. Sarah twisted her knee really good last night, and it looks like she may have messed it up badly, so I kept her home. It is the size of a grapefruit. I hope she didn't ruin her surgery. Cross your fingers!

Love out to Toni and her puppy Prince. My thoughts are with you guys. Congrats to Rob on winning his game!

Drink of the day: Cafe' Mocha, shot of orange, x espresso
CD on the Playa: radio