Hey All

Sorry it's been so long since I have updated, but things have been insane in my life lately. With fiscal year end looming, I am trying to take advantage of the overtime for extra spending money for the trip.

This weekend was really good, actually. We didn't have to come in on Saturday, which was nice, so I was able to sleep in to 9am on Saturday and then do some shopping before my weekly visit to Lindi's McDonald's for lunch. Sarah wasn't feeling well, so I took her home and let her sleep while I got dinner started. I made slow cooked spare ribs in BBQ sauce and they turned out wonderful, aside new potatoes and cottage cheese with potato rolls and chocolate pudding for dessert. Dinner was great, and my family loved the homecooked meal.

My friend April called us Saturday night to see if Sarah could watch her son Graydon, so Sarah got an impropmtu babysitting gig, while Lindi and I went to her store after hours to upgrade her computer system. The process was going to take 4+ hours, so we decided to come home.

Sunday was rest, laundry and my brother in law's birthday party. Ray is officially old at 40! It was the first time I have seen my family since the whole newspaper thing, and it was good to get with them. My dad hugged me really tight for a long time and he even teared up a bit, and told me he loved me. I think this really hit him hard, but he's a great support, and he adores Lindi. I think it came down to being scared that I wouldn't be taken care of, and he can see that Lindi and I take good care of each other, so he doesn't have to worry. My mom was very warm to the both of us and Sarah... and we had a ceremonial hair cutting. I braided her butt-length hair and my sister got to cut it off and her neckline! My mom lost about 10 years! We are donating her hair to Locks of Love as well. My mom is so cool.

Good news, the meth house next door is ready to be enhabited, and Karen was able to refer one of her friends to live there. Now we will know 2 out of our 3 neighbors. Plus, Angel, our new neighbor, has two kids, so Sarah will be a resident babysitter and be able to suppliment her McDonald's income. Very nice.

Speaking of Sarah, we got her final grades : 3.3 GPA! 5 A's, 2B's and a C- in Algebra. This quarter was the highest quarter of the year. She tried this quarter without an algebra tutor and I think did pretty well. She will pick up her tutor at the beginning of the year to try and get that grade up, but she is really doing well in school. She's made honor roll each quarter. I am proud of her!

Work is... work, and I best get back to it. Love out to K, who was laid off from her job on Thursday. My thoughts are with you!

Grover on Ecstasy



You're funny, you're loveable, you're entertaining,
you like to call yourself "Super
Grover!"--You're obviously on ecstasy.
But that's why we love you. Be careful, ok?


Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?
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Let's Get Some Things Clear...

Dear Chicken Shit,

You have no guts. None whatsoever. You read my letter in the paper, and you immediately call my grandfather to “tattle” on me, and stick a knife square in the back of your brother – my father. You claim to be worried about your reputation and what people in Price are gonna think because your niece is a lesbian.

I have some news for you that you might not like to hear.

First of all, I don’t give a rats ass about the people in Price, Kanab, Salt Lake, Murray, Magna or anyone else in between. If I did, I wouldn’t have sent the letter to the Statewide newspaper in the first place.

Secondly, if you are so worried about your reputation, you might want to consider all the things you have done, and your children have done, over the years to truly tarnish our family’s reputation. Don’t point the finger at mine. My father worked 33 long years in a copper mine to put food on our table and clothes on our back, not because he was a lesser being, but because he has more integrity that you could ever imagine. My parents values stemmed around the family and not around money. The love of his children is pure love, based on his integrity and character, not on how much money is in his wallet. I am not so sure you can say the same about yours.

Everyone has skeletons in their closet. At least I had the balls to bring mine out for everyone to see in order to help people understand the situation as well as put a face with the struggle for gay rights. I am not ashamed or belittled by your indignation. Tell me you’ve ever put your name out there for public scrutiny in such a way and I would be surprised.

If you want to ball my life down to the simple fact that I am a lesbian, then you do not deserve to carry the same last name as my father.

I have served my church, my community, and the people of Utah in different capacities over the years; taught Sunday School, donated to charities too numerous to mention. I went to college and have succeeded in the employment world where others have failed. I have given of my time and person in volunteer activities for the Homeless Shelter, MS Society, Food Bank Humane Society and the Sioux Reservation. And I have done all of this with my family name. I have brought nothing but honor to it, and it is something I will continue to do.

Your name doesn’t impress me, nor does your businesses or your house or cars or trips. Your money cannot buy the one thing that my father, mother, sister and brother have contributed to this family – honor. Our family loves unconditionally, which is exactly as Christ taught us to. Maybe if you were as Orthodox as you claim to be, you might recognize that.

What bothers you more, that I married a woman or that I didn’t invite you to the wedding? Wonder why? After this little episode, the reason should be obvious.

Get off your little soapbox. The one person you are winning points with is yourself. I didn’t start a family war – you brought it on yourself. But if it’s a war you want, you little chicken shit, you got it. Bring it on.

You have a problem with me or my life, let me give you my phone number and you can call me. I am responsible for my own life, no one else. You didn’t even have the courage to talk with my father directly. What a man you are.

I am not afraid of you or of my grandfather. I will take you both on any day of the week and twice on Sunday. To belittle my father for my lifestyle is pathetic, cowardly and disgusting. Don’t you EVER, cast judgement on my dad. You would have some nerve to compare your fathering skills with his.

Know this: I will never stand by while you judge him in any fashion.

He is more man than you will ever be.

Sincerely,
Your loving niece

Christ Almighty...

You would think I am a freakin' serial killer.

I called my mother to prepare her for the fact that my letter was in the paper. Yesterday, we were talking about the Gay Marriage issue, and she seemed to be waffling a bit about it, and I thought she oughta know that her daughter's name is now in the paper, highly associated with it. The conversation went something like this:

"Mom, the Trib printed one of my letters to the editor today."

"Oh, that's great honey, what was it about?"

"What do you think?"

Pause.

Pause.

Pause.

"Oh, Connie, why do you have to do this bullshit?!"

I wasn't aware that laws being passed that impede on my rights and standing up for myself was bullshit.

The conversation just went bad from there. Why didn't I take my name off the letter? Why did I have to drag my family's name into it? Don't I know what that's going to do to my family - having to defend me and what I do.

I made it very clear: My parents never raised me to back down from a fight. Not now, not ever. Stand up, vote, fight for what you believe, never let the bastards get you down. A letter to the editor without my name is a letter that should not be sent. I put my name to my work.

If anything, I brought honor to my family name by standing up for injustice - injustice that directly effects a member of this family.

I didn't sign my family name to the letter. I signed mine. If anyone has an issue with it, take it up with me. I will defend myself to my family, my grandfather, uncle - whoever - because that is who I am. If they truly love me, it won't matter.

I didn't kill someone. I wrote a letter. I wrote it with the intention of education and putting a face with an issue that is going to effect a great many other gays and lesbians in this state. I walk the walk and talk the talk. I will not be put back into the closet by anyone.

My friends at work tell me that what I did was brave, and they are proud of me. Lindi is infinately proud of me and loves that I am fighting for our family. My sister, love unconditional, I am sure has no issues with the fact that I am out and proud and will take on city hall.

I proudly signed my name. And I would again. Nothing will change that.

Holy Schnickies, Batman!

I can’t believe it. Toni’s letter made it in the Salt Lake Tribune on Thursday, mine today. Poor little Jim Timmel. He didn’t know what hit him.

Well, I guess it’s official. If anyone in the state of Utah didn’t know I was gay, they certainly do now. I am not sure how I feel about that. Scary and liberating.

This weekend was great… tiring, but great. Friday Night after work, we ran errands and fell into bed at about 11:00pm. Sarah had her friend Jessica spend the night, and we had a ball with the girls. We also got our old living room set removed for the yard sale, and our new couch placed. I love our new couch! It’s a beautiful (and comfortable) green couch with recliners at both ends and a middle top cushion that folds down for cups holders and a small table! Plus, we were able to place my Godfather’s Lazy Boy in our living room. I always feel better when that piece of furniture is near me.

Lindi was up bright and early at 5 on Saturday, dragged my ass outta bed at 5:30, and we headed over to Lindi’s Mom’s house to begin setting up for the yard sale. I was completely exhausted, but we all got though the hot sun, 30 second micro-showers and ended up very pleased. Lindi’s parents made about $300, Lindi’s brother made about $150 and our little family came in at $296. Plus, we have TONS of clothes and other items for the Sioux Tribe donation van going to South Dakota this week, and even more things for the MS Society to pick up on Thursday. By then end of the day, we were delirious, but we enjoyed pizza and my freshly made salsa with Lindi’s dad for Father’s Day, then went home, grumpy and tired.

Poor Lindi had to work Sunday morning, so I tried to keep her calm and comfortable through the night. She left for work at 4:30am, and I got to sleep in a bit before going to her restaurant, having brunch, then off shopping for Denise’s and Ray’s birthday. I made then their own little Movie Packs, complete with two DVD’s popcorn, cookies and soda. I took large paper sacks from the grocery store and slit the sides, rolled the sides down and decorated them. Denise’s Double Feature included Monster and Eye of the Beholder, Light Buttered Popcorn, Diet Pepsi and Snackwells Lemon sandwich and Devil’s Food cookies. Ray’s Action Pack included Kill Bill Vol I, GI Jane, Movie Theatre Butter Popcorn, Wild Cherry Pepsi, Belgian Chocolate chip and Fudge-covered wafer cookies. They LOVED their presents, and I am glad.

My Daddy loved his entire family being there for Father’s Day and we enjoyed roasted chicken, salad, lasagna, greek cheese, bread and olives – whatever you wanted was there for the munching! He especially enjoyed the new gas grill and stand up cooler he got from his family! We had a great time.

I had a migraine that started right before we left for my parents at 3, and when we got there, it had taken over the entire right side of my face. My mom went into action and stuck an ice pack on the back of my neck and I took some Tylenol and a muscle relaxer, and picked at a bit of food. When I couldn’t stand the pain from the ice pack any longer, I took it off and within 10 minutes, any trace of my headache was gone. It was amazing. I need to start using ice more when I get headaches. I think the combination of all the running around and heat and lack of sleep finally caught up with me.

Last night, we lounged in our lovely living room and watched the Silence of the Lambs and enjoyed popcorn and other treats. We had a good time. It was the first time Sarah had seen it, so we were explaining a lot of things, and that made it even more interesting.

I bought Lindi a copy of the DVD Monster for her birthday and had to try and sneak it in the house on Friday, which didn’t work too well. I ended up giving it to her earlier and we watched a bit of it on Friday night. I hope we get to finish watching it tonight after work.

Work is going okay, although I really wish people would just do their work and quit worrying about what it going on with everyone else in the world. I’ll keep you posted on that.

And the Gay Pride page is still coming along, but I have a bit to go. Be patient! It’s coming!

I Am Terribly Sad

And I am truly beside myself.

She's decided she needed to move on. I can understand that, I think we all get to that point. She wanted her privacy, wanted to begin a new life with her, the woman she dubbed "The One". She took down her blog.

Sigh.

No more Saturday morning chats. No more lusting over Angelina, "sweating" over Keith's lyrics, talking trash about everything and everyone while eating oatmeal after taking Patches for a walk.

No more Cancer hotline, text messages that get me in trouble with the wife or jokes about the size of my chest. No more joking about plans to fly to SF and "leave my shit at the airport".

Big Sigh.

I am happy for her and M. I am pleased she has found someone that a lot of people out there only dream exists and never find. But I feel like a big chunk has been ripped out of my heart. You know when you talk with someone who just gets you? Well, there ya go. That was her to me.

Farewell, my online buddy. You'll always be my grrl... Call me if you ever need to chat. You got the digits. Be sure you don't lose them.

I guess it just proves the theory that everyone I care for will eventually leave. And people wonder why I have trust issues...

Makes me wonder why I even have a blog myself. I mean, really. The only one who reads it is my wife and my kid. Maybe I oughta take a vacation from it... just food for thought.

Good Job Toni!

Her letter in the Public Forum was published in the SL Trib today. Nice work.

I am still working on the Gay Pride 2004 page. It should be up shortly!

Courtesy of Geoffrey

"Five little ducks went out to play..."

My Heart is Warmed

I decided to send out a letter to some people here at work explaining the impact of the proposed Utah Constitutional Amendment banning recognition of same-sex couples and common law spouses. I figured they would read it, agree and delete it. Here are two of the responses I received:

Hey, I actually have never voted in my life, but I am registered and I will be there to vote!

Connie,
I sent this to as many people as I could. My husband will forward it to the "family values" crowd at his work. Your letter was very beautiful and nearly brought me to tears. This is an issue that I feel very strongly about. I would like to be more politically involved on this issue (I am registered to vote and only death could keep my democrat/liberal/homo-loving ass from the polls in Nov.!) Please let me know if there is any other way I could get involved to keep this from happening ok?

VIVA LA HUMAN RIGHTS AND DIGNITY!!

They made me smile.

I can't tell you how many people I registered to vote on Sunday. And I will continue to do so up until the elections to prevent this horrid amendment from being placed in my State Constitution.

Here is the letter I wrote. Feel free to cut, paste and distribute at will:

I wanted to take a moment of your time to tell you about a proposed amendment to the Utah Constitution that will be on the ballot November 2nd. Please read the following. Don't delete, as this will effect more than just me and my family.

This Amendment to the Utah Constitution states the following, exactly as written:

1. Marriage consist only of the legal union between a man and a woman.
2. No other domestic union, however denominated, may be recognized as a marriage or given the same or substatioally equivilent legal effect.

The author of the resolution intended this Amendment to, once and for all, define marriage and limit the rights of those who cannot legally marry. If this Amendment in placed in our Consitution, it will impact only two groups of people: same-sex partners and common law spouses.

1. We already have a law that states that marriage is between a man and a woman. To write it into our Constitution is unecessary. It is also law that Utah does not recognize same-sex or common law marriages.

2. By passing this amendment, those whose employers grant them sick leave, funeral leave, medical benefits or anything "resembling" marriage benefits will have to stop that practice.

3. It will effect legal documents such as power of attorneys, wills, inheritance rights, hospital visitation - even child custody - for same-sex and common law couples.

In essence, it strips all of my rights away.

I urge you, regardless of how you feel about same-sex couples, to understand that if an Amendment like this is written into our Utah Constitution, the document which exists to grant us all our rights, it will impact my life in an astounding way. I may be barred from visiting my partner, even my step daughter, in the hospital or making medical decisions for them. How would you feel if you could not be at the side of your spouse or child in their time of need? And this is simply one of the many rights that will be stripped from me and my family.

Utahns are open and loving people. No one wants to hurt another person. You can support your faith and still support the right of people to make homes and families and allow them to live their lives honorably without making them second-class citizens.

To pass this Amendment is unnecessary and will harm many. If we have to change our Constitution to support discrimination and hatred, what kind of people have we become?

I urge you to PLEASE VOTE NO on November 2nd. I encourage you to talk to friends and neighbors who support this about what it really means. If you have never voted before, please register to vote (I can help you to register to vote - I have all the forms necessary).

Vote against changing our Constitution to suit the frivilous desires of some lawmakers.

Make your voice heard - the Consitution is a document of ALL the people.

Thank you for your love and support of me, Lindi and Sarah.

Connie

PRIDE WEEKEND!!

Pride Weekend was wonderful, full of events and people and great times. I have downloaded some great photos we took during our adventures, and am putting together a page to show all of you the pagentry and parading that is Gay Pride Day.

To whet your appetites, I leave you with this photo of me and Lindi at Pride, waiting for the parade to start...

Let the Fesitivies Commence!

Happy Gay Pride Month to y'all. Here's a local link to the goings on!



Did you know that the Gay Pride Parade is the second largest Parade in Utah?

If I am Called Ma’am One More Time…

I am on a call with a nameless insurance company. They underpaid us by about 637.00. I called to find out if the new amount was in process to be paid. After being transferred twice, I finally get a rep who says she can help me. I have a particular tactic I like to use which is simply to be professional, firm, but nice. The whole addage of “you catch more flies with honey…” works quite well in this situation.

I like to joke a bit and lighten the mood, which allows the rep some breather time and they are more open and willing to help me. This particular rep is… well… odd. “Mary” calls me ma’am in every sentence. Either that, or she uses my name. It’s very disconcerting to hear that in each and every sentence. When I joked with her when her computer went down, saying “Oh, yes, computers are wonderful things,” while chuckling in empathy, she replied in an extremely monotone voice, “At this point, ma’am, I would not agree with you.”

Okay. Here’s the thing. Throughout this call, she sounded exactly like a cop. I am not kidding. No emotion, no relating to me, nothing. When I am on the phone, I like my voice to sound like I am smiling (unless I have to be a hard core bitch). This woman sounded like she just had an enema. Or needed one. Not to mention that she was saying things like: ‘I don’t see what I want to see on this claim, so I am taking ownership of it, if that’s alright with you, ma’am.’ WTF? Ownership? I don’t care who owns this claim, just pay the freakin’ thing. Why are you asking my permission to do your job? Keerriist.

I got off the call and called the insurance company back. I am gonna talk to a new rep. The last one was certifiable. They must be on their second string since it’s a Friday and all their experienced reps probably took a vacation day because of the National Day of Mourning for Reagan.

Speaking of Reagan… Over at Geoffrey’s site, I mentioned my opinion about Reagan. I had simply stated that he was not my favorite president, but he did end the Cold War. He also effectively made the working poor even poorer, put a lot of people out of work and gave big businesses a boost. That was it. The next thing I know, I am being told that, essentially, since I was too young to really remember Reagan, I sounded like an uneducated twit.

I can take the shots with the best of them, but that pissed me off, and I told Rosemary as much.

First of all, I am not uneducated when it comes to politics. Granted, I am not a Reagan expert, I never claimed to be. I don’t believe in studying the stupidity of a man who ruined the economy to make the rich even richer. And I certainly wasn’t the one who made up the term “Reaganomics”. However, being politically active in High School as well as College and actually studying political science, I feel I am reasonably informed about Reagan and his administration. In addition to the fact that I lived in a Union/Democrat household that directly felt the adverse effects of his administration, as well as having a Republican grandfather with a business who made a lot of money during this time…

What is your take on Reagan? Am I completely missing the boat here? LEAVE A COMMENT… I’d like to hear from you. I will also post this on Pixie’s site.

Update: was just handed another performance review… another perfect 3.0. Yee-haw!

I forgot to mention all the changes here at work - major overhaul of all the departments, people moving under new managers, etc. I get to move from my bastard-child cubicle on the fourth floor to an office on the third floor. There is good and bad - they are taking me away from my friends up here and making me share an office with "Sparky" the only guy on our team.

Can you see it? White Republican Conservative Mormon dude and White Democrat Liberal non-mormon Lesbian will really fit well together, yes? Um, no. Just as long as I don't hear his conservative talk shows on the radio, I should be okay. It's by a window. I'll be alright.

Breathe.

But, before I go, I would like to share with you a new poem.

Ode to the Juice Box

Lonely,
Sitting in the middle of the road,
Cars whizzing past.
How did you get there, juice box
Still with the straw
Inside the little punch hole?
Where did you come from
And how are you still standing
Upright
Against the wind and the tires
That threaten to squash you?
Oh, juice box,
Neglected, unfinished and solitary,
I drive past you and think
You are brave.
Brave little juice box
In a cold cruel world.

Drink of the day: Cafe Mocha x espresso
CD on the Playa: Favorite Country Love Songs...

And Then there were Four

Lots has been going on in my neck of the woods lately, and I am terribly sorry that I haven’t gotten on this stupid blog before now.

Let’s see, let’s see… Work is pretty crazy right now. Our fiscal year end is coming up at the end of June and ALL money needs to be collected and posted in our system by midnight on the 30th of June. Period. Done. And with millions coming in – and no way to know how much in any given day – I have been offered the illustrious OVERTIME! My new department doesn’t get overtime, that was reserved for my old unit, but I was given the green light to put in as much OT as I want. As much as I want! All I can think of is the Alaska Fund. Plus, we are eligible for a double bonus this month, so the collectors are really going at it. Feasibly, we could earn an extra $300 on our last paycheck in July, not counting the OT I can accumulate before then. Hell yeah! I cleared my entire schedule from the 14th on so that I can work at least 2 hours OT each day, if not more. All my OT and all my bonus money is going straight to the Alaska savings account. My goal is to put away another $1,000 before we leave. That way, I can buy Lindi something nice in Alaska.

Speaking of Lindi, her 35th Birthday is coming up and I am thinking of having a small dinner party at our house, maybe just 4 people or so. Something quiet and nice. She got an early birthday present yesterday, however: A 7-week old kitten named… are you ready for this? … Mini. Yes, the M names continue. A lady at work is moving this week and she has such a big heart; she’s rescued 4 cats that need to have homes, including a very, very young mama kitty with two babies, who was living in a rock quarry up the mountain by Riverton, and a year-old female from a warehouse that was being shut down. Her new place only alows two dogs and two cats, so she needs to adopt out as many of her cats as she can, and she will take the two cats who don’t get adopted. She also has a GORGEOUS medium haired Siamese male who is simply the most beautiful cat I have ever seen. My heart sunk into my stomach because I really really wanted to take him, too, but I knew Lindi needed a kitten. But cross your fingers… Lorene might take him when she and Dylan get their house!

Mini is black, grey and white, and her coloring will come in a little better soon, she’s a bit muddied right now. I watched her and her sister play for a good half hour to see how they interacted with one another and with the bigger cats. I fell in love with Mini. Good, even-tempered, inquisitive, very playful and affectionate, and not whiney in the least. But the clincher? She only has half a tail! Her tail literally fell off after birth, so it’s one of those quirky things that happen to kittens from time to time. (Hense the name Mini – as in Mini-tail) My friend from work said that I didn’t have to take the one without a tail, but I let her know that I have no superstitions when it comes to cats, as they are all touched by angels, and I would see which one spoke to me. Mini spoke loud and clear. Her eyes were bright and alert and her face was just the most precious thing in the world! So, we gave her a bath (no crying at all, very relaxed) and I took her home. My friend even gave her a gift bag to put her in to give to Lindi. If you can picture a kitten with her head poking up above a bag with the paws hanging over the sides, it was adorable! And Lindi fell in love at first sight.

Yes, there are pictures.

The most interesting thing happened when I brought Mini home. Miss HATED her, which I was expecting, but my lovable Mister did everything but sit on the kitten and try to nurse. He followed her around, sniffing and trying to be loving, even placing himself between Miss and Mini so Miss would leave the kitten in peace. He ran to get Mickey to show him the new baby. My little peacemaker. I am so happy I have Mister. He’s my angel.

Now, the truly remarkable thing is Mickey, our virtual cat. He was sleeping under our bed, which is his norm, and when we let Mini walk around on the floor, she poked her head under the bed and met Mickey. Lindi and I held our breaths and the next thing I hear is the sound of Mickey meowing at Mini in a talking way. Not one growl or hiss or anything. He was talking to her in a very pleasant, comforting way. And Mini didn’t run away from him, she just sat there and let Mickey talk to her. I just grinned. This might be what Mickey needs. (Yes, Lorene, you told me so)

She slept on our bed with no problems, except when Lindi left for work and Mini decided it was “bite Cuddly Mama’s Toes” time. Argh. Cute little thing. When I did get up for work and put Mini on the floor, Miss hissed and growled, Mister kicked Miss out of the room, and Mickey and Mister took turns stalking the kitten. My boys. More of a mother hen that my girl. Go figure.

So Mini is spending the day with the Little Mom (Sarah) and hopefully doing some more bonding with the Boys.

Miss, Mister, Mickey and Mini. Gawd, we are cheesy.

I see Mother Sugar again today for my second session. I really don’t think I need to go, but I don’t want to get out of the habit of going. It’s a tool I should use even if I don’t think I need it. I will have to cancel the appointment after this because of working OT, but that will be okay. I have effectively canceled my water aerobics, too, for the time being. That’s alright, it’s there when I can go, I am not worried about it. Between working, working OT, working USANA (I picked up 8 concerts) and volunteering for the Don’t Amend campaign, I think I have my plate full.

This weekend will be interesting. Friday night, I work a concert at USANA, Saturday I am manning a booth at KRCL’s Day in the Park for “Don’t Amend” and Sunday is Pride. Sarah has invited one of her friends to spend the night and then go to Pride Day with us. I talked to her friend’s mom and it’s kosher (you know how some parents can be). Jessica’s mom was great, “I would hope I raised her not to judge others and be open to everyone and be respectful of other’s lives.” Right on. So it will be nice to have someone her own age to walk around with. I have a 2-hour booth shift from 11-1 but then I am free!

Much love out to V, cancer-schmancer, you beat it! You told me you wouldn’t have chemo, and look at you – no chemo! Not even radiation! You have a skilled surgeon and a whole team of people behind you sending you positive energy. You are loved and we are grateful. Get better soon!

Drink of the day: Skinny Caramel Cafe
CD on the Playa: Favorite Country Love Songs from the 80's-90's

For My Sweetheart

Everything/Alanis Morrisette

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withold like it's going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby
And you've never met anyone
As negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you've ever met
I'm the kindest soul with whom you've connected
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
As positive as I am sometimes

You see everything
You see every part
You see all my light
And you love my dark
You dig everything
Of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive agressiveness can be devistating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you've never met anyone who's closed down as I am sometimes

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

I am the funniest woman that you've ever known
I am the dullest woman that you've ever known
I am the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known
And you've never met anyone as everything as I am sometimes

You see everything
You see every part
You see all my light
And you love my dark
You dig everything
Of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here

You're still here

Per Request

Here are a few pics I took yesterday of the babies. Mickey was hiding, so this will be Miss and Mister's photo shoot.



Miss - Lounging on the bed.



Miss - Cute face



Mister - Lounging in the window



Mister - cute face

I Am In Touch with my Inner Squirrel...

Please now Refer to me as Professor Fluffyfart.

Get in touch here.

I am Guest Posting...

Over at Pixie's Blog whilst she is trapsing her way across the big wide world to visit Tre in SF. Bless her little heart.

I posted over there. For those who know and love me, it's a must read.

C	Charming
O	Overwhelming
N	Naive
S	Shiny
T	Terrific
A	Ambivalent
N	Natural
C	Charismatic
E	Energetic

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Dreams can be Beautiful

I am back in college, at my old campus, and as I walk on the snowy sidewalk, I notice I am having a more and more difficult time walking. I realize that my back is out and call my doctor to make an appointment for surgery. About that time, I run into Angelina Jolie with long dark hair (like in Beyond Borders) dressed as a typical college student, t-shirt and jeans. She asks how I am feeling and I tell her my back hurts pretty bad. She offers to take me home so I can get some rest. I agree, and she runs to her last class to grab her assignments.

I wander around some of the classrooms looking for her and after a while, I come across her and some angry white Republican men having an argument over something political. It ended with her saying something really profound that I can’t remember, but I remember being impressed. She grabs my hand and we walk out of the building holding hands.

We walk to her car and at this point I realize that she is my girlfriend or something like that because of the small talk and innuendo flying back and forth between us. We get to her car, which is an older 1970’s steel tank in bright blue. It reminded me of the old 1973 Ford LTD I used to have. We jumped in and I looked around, and it was all original interior and radio and everything. It was very cool.

We get to my apartment (which looks nothing like any apartment I’ve ever been in) and I think she’s just going to go home, but she invites herself in (like I was going to complain) and actually helped me undress and get in my sweats. Then it shifted from my needing surgery to already having had the surgery and she was taking care of me. We were laying in my bed, and I could barely move, and she was stroking my face and we were talking. It was very romantic. She even showed me all her tattoos. (big sigh)

And then the damn alarm went off. I hit the snooze and tried to get back there, but it was no use.

That is how I started my day, with Angelina in my head. That was wonderful. It is her birthday on Friday. Buy a cake. Celebrate.

Last night, Lindi’s parents came over and her father fixed Sarah’s closet door, and with all the leftover potato salad, we hosted an improptu dinner of hot dogs, potato salad, chips, baked beans and rice krispy treats – just the plain kind that Lindi had me make to go along with the peanut butter ones. I also packed up a “To Go” bag for my sister and brother-in-law that featured some of the potato salad, some of the homemade spaghetti and pot pie, two hotdogs with buns and rice krispy treats. My brother in law picked it up – he didn’t even have to get out of his truck – and he was so excited. He will have lunches for days on my food! The rest of the potato salad went home with Lindi’s parents, and they are newly converted fans to my cooking skills.

It was a pretty restful night. I can’t remember sleeping so soundly in a long time, plus I awoke without pain, which is always a good morning. And now I have Angelina bouncing around in my head. It’s gonna be a great day.

Looks like June is going to be a busy month, between water aerobics, dr’s appointments, volunteering at the Don’t Amend campaign and Pride Day, Lisa’s, Denise’s and Ray’s Birthday AND Father’s Day, I thank God everyday I have a day-planner. I would lose my ever lovin’ mind.

MUCH LOVE out to V, a friend who is going in for a thyroidectomy today. They are pretty sure it’s cancer, but with her amazing positive attitude, she will come through just fine. Postive thoughts and energy are being sent your way.

Drink of the day: Diet Coke
CD on the Playa: Josh Groban Closer

Happy Mon... er... Tuesday to You!

Last night didn't go as we expected. The neighbors were having issues, so we didn't get together with them as planned, but we had a great dinner nonetheless. I made a HUGE potato salad and instead of BBQ, I made southern fried chicken with the chicken breasts, along with the green salad. I also made Peanut Butter Krispie treats..... so so so easy to make: 1 cup Karo syrup, 1 cup sugar in a saucepan until it hits a boil, remove from heat, add 1 cup peanut butter and mix thouroughly, then pour over and mix with 6 cups Rice Krispies, pour into buttered pan and top with 6 oz chocolate, smoothing the top to even the melted chocolate. They are so so so so good... Lindi couldn't put them down. Yes, I am the cooking master.

I feel like all I did all weekend was cook, and when I look at my blog and read it, I realize that IS all I did this weekend except my Law & Order Marathon and talking with Tre. And, you know, I am okay with that. I am centralizing my energy and investing in things that work for me and make me happy. Iguess I hadn't done that in a long time. I feel like I am taking back my life and I am so happy that those who know me best understand what I am going through and have given me the space I have needed to get my head together.

Song of the Day: THANKFUL Kelly Clarkson

You know my soul
you know everything about me there's to know
you know my heart
how to make me stop & how to make me go
you should know I love everything
about you don't you know

That I'm thankful, for the blessing
and the lessons that I've learned with you by my side
That I'm thankful, so thankful for the love
that you keep bringing in my life

You know my thoughts before I open up my mouth & try to speak
You know my dreams, must be listening when I'm talking in my sleep
I hope you know I love having you around me don't you know

That I'm thankful for the blessing
and the lessons that I've learned with you by my side
I'm thankful for the love that you keep bringing in my life
Don't you know that I'm thankful for the moment
When I'm down you always know how to make me smile
Thankful for the moments & the joy that your bringing to my life

For the lessons that I've learned, for the trouble I've known
For the heartache & pain thrown my way
When I didn't think I could go on
You made me feel strong, with you I am never alone

Thankful, thankful for the blessing
and the lessons that I've learned with you by my side
I'm thankful for the love that you keep bringing in my life
Thankful, so thankful
When I'm down you always know how to make me smile
Thankful for the joys that your bringing to my life
Thankful, so thankful