Mustang PuffyMoon

That's my new White Lesbian Name.

You have to have one to be in the Organization.

Go.

Now.

Lesbian Nation

Or I am Kinky LaVeaux if I ever decide to do Porn. Again.

To Impress a Woman...

Dine her.

Call her.

Hold her.

Surprise her.

Compliment her.

Smile at her.

Listen to her.

Laugh with her.

Cry with her.

Romance her.

Encourage her.

Believe in her.

Pray with her.

Pray for her.

Cuddle with her.

Shop with her.

Give her jewelry.

Buy her flowers.

Hold her hand.

Write love letters to her.

Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.


To impress a man:

Show up naked. Bring chicken wings and beer. Don't block the TV.

Irritated

This is the time of year that I get really irritated. It's Open Enrollment at the University and I am constantly reminded that as a Partner and Step-mother in a Same-Sex couple, I am worth nothing to my employer.

The U pays a portion of my medical premiums. I am only required to pay $44.82 per month for some great benefits.

However, if I want to add my partner, I pay $353.60 per month, and add my stepdaughter, $618.54 per month. I pay the full premium for both my partner and stepdaughter, even though I am financially responsible for their medical bills just as much as a married stepmother.

It doesn't make any sense to me.

If I were legally married, my employer would pay a portion of both my spouses and children's premiums. I would pay $73.44 for a spouse and $106.86 for spouse and child.

Let me emphasize this fact: The University pays over $500 in benefit premiums to a straight, married couple with children than they do me, even if we do the same job. That’s 6 grand a year more in compensation because of their sexual orientation and willingness to have children.

Those insurance rates are a slap in the face to every LGBT employee of this University. The Administration has basically said "We will pay you 6 grand less a year in benefits because of your 'lifechoice.'” Guess what? Getting married and having children is a 'lifechoice' as well - it has nothing to do with equal compensation for equal work.

I wouldn't care if the U said "Here’s a check for the difference because you are worth the same to us as a straight, married parent who does your same job," but they don't. They would rather us LGBT employees shut up and pay the premiums as a blessing.

That is the effect of passing Amendment 3 – LGBT families unable to afford health insurance. I would think the University of Utah would be much more progressive than that.

I've got news for the University Administration - there are many private employers who do pay equal compensation for equal work. The sooner the U wakes up and realizes they are discriminating against LGBT families, the sooner they will stop losing their valuable employees to the private sector.

Vain? Food Indulgent? Social? Ppssshaw....

Okay, maybe.

Hat Tip: Liz

---

Stability results were low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

Trait snapshot: open, tough, irritable, worrying, does not like to be alone, craves attention, low self control, emotionally sensitive, interacting, sad, very social, aggressive, prefer organized to unpredictable, dependent, social chameleon, suspicious, values the heart over the mind, likes large parties, outgoing, likes to make fun, likes to fit in, mildly phobic, vain, makes friends easily, enjoys leadership, clingy, rash

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||||||| 73% Stability |||||| 26% Orderliness |||||||||| 40% Empathy |||||||||||||||| 70% Interdependence |||||||||||| 50% Intellectual |||||||||||| 43% Mystical |||||||||||| 50% Artistic |||||||||||||||| 70% Religious |||||||||||||||| 63% Hedonism |||||||||||||||| 63% Materialism |||||||||||||||||| 76% Narcissism |||||||||||||| 56% Adventurousness |||||| 30% Work ethic |||||||||||||||||| 76% Self absorbed |||||||||||||||| 70% Conflict seeking |||||||||||||||||| 76% Need to dominate |||||||||||||||||| 76% Romantic |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Avoidant |||| 16% Anti-authority |||||||||||||||| 70% Wealth |||||| 30% Dependency |||||||||||||||| 63% Change averse |||||||||||||||| 70% Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 63% Individuality |||||||||||||||| 70% Sexuality |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||| 70% Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Food indulgent |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Histrionic |||||||||||||||||| 76% Paranoia |||||||||||||||| 70% Vanity |||||||||||||| 56% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||| 76% Female cliche |||||||||||||||| 63%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Again, with the Maine Love

Simply put, the man is a god.

He is also a soon to be father, and was comtemplating the actions a father should take in one of four dating scenerios.

The last one struck a nerve.

"Scenario Four:
Daughter is 21. She tells me that she has fallen in love with a woman and wants to spend the rest of her life with her in wonderful, Constitutionally-outlawed bliss.

Rejected Plans:
1. Give a shit.
2. Remind her that I want grandchildren.
3. Break a sweat.

Plan of Action:
Slap her a high-five and buy my wife a magical unicorn in celebration. If my daughter is a lesbian, I’m a happy guy. I believe that, more often than not, men are assholes, and I’d rather not have my daughter roll the dice with one. Plus, if he ever hit her, I’d have to drive to his house and cook him with my flamethrower, and, really, gasoline is too expensive for that kind of stuff. Is that weird?"

Beautiful. Simply Beautiful.

Maine Quote of the Day

"I don’t drink Starbucks coffee. If I’m spending $5 to get high, a rastafarian is going to be involved."

I'd Like to thank the Academy...

Just in the regular line of duty at Dogsnot...

"As I told Arney Lungscum on yesterday's thread, I'm not surprised to see him come crawling back to Dog Snot, since most trolls do eventually. I was about to strike his face with the back of my hand, but Connie did it for me. Man, is she something when she's pissed!

It's truly sad that you have no new, original thought of your own. You are the poster child for all lesbians who want their tubes tied.

We should start a Dog Snot "Zinger" Hall of Fame for quotes that go above and beyond the duty of everyday bitchslapping. Consider yourself nominated Connie."

Funniest Email Response Today

"Yeah, I live in San Francisco in the Haight/Ashbury neighborhood, but I really don't know what you might mean by 4-20. What could it possibly mean? And why is that clock on the corner of Haight Ashbury permanently stuck at 4:20pm? I just don't know.

Like, whoa dude, pretty soon it's going to be 4:20 pm on 4-20. Whoa. Is it smoky in here or is it just me?

It's been lovely chatting with you back and forth this afternoon, but now I have to run some errands.

Back by 4:20pm I hope."

Google Maps are the DEVIL!

If this shit doesn't scare you, nothing will.

I am hearing all the hype about Google Maps. So I go there, enter in my address, it puts up a map. No big Whoop. Yay. I can use it to get home.

Then I see the little clicky thingie on the right that says, "Sattelite." Yeah, right, bitches. You have a sattelite hook up... Pssshaaaa...

Shit.

This is my neighborhood. The little red thingie is my house.



Seriously. Those are my trees, my road, my neighbors. Holy God in Heaven. This is not cool.

For those who care, this is where I am at in the world:



I like this map MUCH better.

Happy 9th Anniversary Toni and Rob!

I remember this day, oh, so long ago. It was snowing so badly outside, I was late for the ceremony, but I remember looking at Toni and Rob and praying I would find a love as true and deep as theirs. I've been priviledged to watch their commitment grow and flourish and their friendship continue to expound based on mutual respect and devotion.

We should all have a marriage as wonderful as theirs.

Here's to many many many more years and watching the two of you grow old together.

Cheers!

Why Maine is my Favorite Blogger... Ever...

Posts like these:

The Pope is Darth Vader
"Have you seen this guy? Look at him for a second. Doesn’t he look just like a younger version of that evil emperor in Return of the Jedi? How could they elect this guy? You know he’s just gonna adopt James Earl Jones as his disciple and change his name to Darth. Mark Hamill will have to sword fight him on a windy catwalk and shit… This is just not good. How long will it be before he’s blasting Carson Kressley with electric bolts from his fingertips? “You will not renounce your homosexuality? Then… you will die.” *ZAP*"

True Artistic Tastes
"Sometimes I’ll look down at the dial of my XM radio and see that another radio station is playing a song by Jet. When I turn to it, I get upset because I realize that they’re playing a song by Jet and not a song by The Jets. That sucks because “Cold Hard Bitch” ain’t got nothin’ on “Rocket 2 U.” That shit is dope."

Amazing Insights
"I don’t know how much fun a barrel of monkeys would be, though I’m pretty sure it would smell. How would you get more than one monkey in a barrel anyway? Is that even possible? Who comes up with these things? And, more importantly, why the hell do I concern myself with them?"

Eclectic Culinary Observations
"Have you ever been in your kitchen making breakfast and thought to yourself, “Hey, why don’t I cook these pancakes with the syrup already combined into the mix? And while I’m at it, why not make them into little circles so I can put some sausages and eggs between them and eat them like a sandwich? And, just for convenience’s sake, let me wrap it up in a piece of paper and stamp an “M” insignia at the top…” Odds are you’ve never thought of that. But you know who did? The inventor of McGriddles sandwiches, Dave McGriddle. And where does Dave work? At McDonald’s. I guess the point I’m making here is that it takes a bit of creativity to keep the public interested in eating trillions of burgers and fries for 60 years, and, personally, I support the innovation. Keep ‘em coming, Dave..."

This, among so many other reasons, is why I think Maine should be the World's first Blogger Universe President.

And because I want his sperm. But I digress...

Happy 4-20

You know what I mean.

Heh, heh.

WELCOME BENEDICT!

VATICAN CITY - White smoke poured from a chimney at the Vatican and bells tolled on Tuesday evening, announcing to the world that a new pope was elected in the first papal conclave of the new millennium.

Crowds in St. Peter's Square chanted: "Viva il Papa!" or "Long live the pope!"

"It's only been 24 hours, surprising how fast he was elected," Vatican Radio said, commenting on how the new pope was chosen on the conclave's second day.

It was one of the fastest elections in the past century: Pope Pius XII was elected in 1939 in three ballots on one day, while Pope John Paul II was elected in 1978 in four ballots in one day. John Paul II's successor was elected after either four or five ballots over two days.

More pilgrims poured into St. Peter's Square, and the bells kept ringing 10 minutes after the original tolling. Pilgrims said the rosary as they awaited the name of the new pope, and prelates stood on the roof of the Apostolic Palace, watching as the crowd nearly doubled.

The bells rang at 6:04 p.m. (12:04 p.m. EDT) ending confusion over the smoke signal that had risen from the chimney of the Sistine Chapel. White smoke is used to announce the election of a new pope, along with the ringing of bells, which was added for this conclave.

The world awaited the formal announcement of the new pope, to be made on the balcony of St. Peter's Basilica by Chilean Cardinal Jorge Arturo Medina Estivez.

Niels Hendrich, a 40-year-old salesman from Hamburg, Germany, jumped up and down with joy and called his father on a cell phone. "Habemus papam!" he shouted into the phone, using the Latin for: "We have a pope."

Antoinette Hastings, from Kent Island, Md., rose from her wheelchair, grasping her hands together and crying. She has artificial knees, making it tough to stand.

"I feel blessed, absolutely blessed," she said. "I just wish the rest of my family were here to experience this with me."

The 265th pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church succeeds John Paul II, who died April 2 at age 84 after gaining extraordinary popularity over a 26-year pontificate, history's third-longest papacy. Millions mourned him around the world in a tribute to his charisma.

Is it Wrong to choose Potatoes over Crack?

I just love saying that.

Bad Luck?

I think I killed my bamboo plant. I accidentally left it near the fan of my computer, and the water dried up over the weekend. There's still some green, but it looks pretty sad.

If I did kill it, does it mean 7 years of Bad Chinese Food?

We’ve Given Up our Sex Life for ‘The L Word’…

This weekend was eventful, but not for the usual eventful things.

Thursday night, I stopped by Comcast and picked up two digital cable boxes for our home. Lindi has been requesting Showtime for I don’t know how long, especially for "The L Word." We don’t feel like actual Lesbians unless we are up to date on what’s going on with those girls. We were giggly excited about the “On Demand” feature, which allows us to watch whatever we want when we want. That’s what I call entertainment.

Friday, I was so sick to my stomach, I couldn’t stand it, so I called in and stayed home. I watched TV and pretty much laid around, wishing I could spend the day with Lindi watching more lesbian drama, but I refrained from watching it without her.

Sarah came home for the weekend on Saturday, and w had some great family time. It’s been hard having her stay with her grandmother, but we know it’s the best thing for her. The doctor told us if she accidentally bends her knee in the next 4 weeks, it could permanently disable her, so she is not to take off her brace until then. Looks like she’s out for the rest of the school year (they have too many stairs) so we are going to try long distance learning so she can still maintain her grades.

Sunday, my family decided to get me out of the house, so we went to the duck park and fed the ducks and fish. It was a really great way to relax and get some air.

So, last night, we are watching, of course, “The L Word,” and I noticed something interesting. In this episode, the guest stars were Camryn Manheim and Melissa Rivers. First of all, I adore Camryn. Love love love her. She can do no wrong as far as I am concerned. Playing a strong willed Film Exec, who may or may not be a lesbian (we're not sure yet) is just the kind of role that's made for her.

But what the hell is up with Melissa Rivers? Does she actually have a talent other than being the daughter of Joan? Seriously. She played… herself… as a lesbian - scratch that - as a “Non-labeled” person who steals a girlfriend from one of the main characters, Dana. She even kissed her. It was thoroughly painful.

Hey, I am all up for actresses stretching their range and playing lesbians. Charlize Theron did it - and did it well. But to play yourself and try to pass yourself off as one is… well… just wrong. Don’t jump on the “Lesbian Chic” bandwagon with Anne Heche and the rest of them. It’s not convincing, and it makes you look pathetic… and the rest of us suffer for it.

Especially Melissa Rivers. I think someone needs to lock her in a room with herself for a while. She would annoy herself to death.

What You Think You Know? Eh?

Take the "How Well Do You Know Connie?" quiz created on Tickle and see how you score. Here's the first question:

1. What's my sign?
* Aqarius
* Virgo
* Leo
* Pisces

Just click this link and you'll be taken to my quiz.

THEN - post your percentage on my blog in comments or on your blog.

Let's see who knows what about who! Or Whom. Whatev.

You know you want to. Be One with the Goddess.

Memememememe

So Maine got hit with the meme from one of his blogging buddies, and has shared the love with moi. I told him my site was getting boring and I needed help.

So he sends me 5 questions. Damn witty ones, too.

1. You get to fistfight one public figure / celebrity on TV this weekend. Who do you choose and why?

Jane Fonda. Seriously. A decade late and a dollar short, biotch. Plus, On Golden Pond sucked ass. Hardcore.

2. Why haven't you downloaded Skype yet? Why not!?
My sound card is dead, so there is really no point.

3. Greater evil in a society: Lawyers having major influence over government policies or government policies being enacted based on religious tenets? Discuss.

Bastard. Forget the hard questions. Ask me something like, 'If you, Pamela Anderson and a midget were sharing and ice cream cone, what flavor would it be?' Jesus!

4. Hey, here's $100,000. Spend it. Today. All of it. How?

That's awful nice of you! Rent limos to pick up 25 of my closest friends, my posse, as it were… drive to the airport… fly to Vegas, see the Blue Man Group and spend the rest on strippers and liquor. Oh, yeah. Or I could be practical and just buy a lifetime supply of Skippy. And a monkey for Lindi.

5. You're on a desert island for the rest of your life. Take five people, three pieces of technology and 2 bonus items. What do you take?

Five people? Okay, Lindi, Angelina Jolie, Janet Jackson, Dan Quayle and George Carlin. We’ll need entertainment, yo… Technology: a laptop, an ice maker and a power supply for both… 2 bonus items: Q-tips and push pins. You wouldn’t believe how bloody useful both of those are.

The Best Thing About Lindi's Homemade Dinners...

...are the homemade leftover lunches I get the next day.

Mmmmmmmmmmm.

Pork chops, au gratin potatoes and asapargus.

Take that, bitches.

In the Entertainment World

US Weekly has confirmed rumors that Angelina and Brad shared an Easter holiday together. Brad's publicist says no way. If it's true, my heart is broken. I would have thought Angelina had better taste... but then again, she married Billy Bob Thornton, so anything is an improvement.



And the lovely Mrs. Federline is now expecting. Yahoo. Can you feel my excitement? For the next umpteen weeks, that's all we'll hear about... Britney's baby... blah blah blah. Forget war, poverty, drugs... her baby will be the center of the universe. I think I'm going to retch. I wonder if the guests at her baby shower will have to wear velor sweatsuits with "Hoochie" scrawled on the back.

Back in the Saddle

I took yesterday off because the pain in my right breast was so bad, I couldn’t even sit up. I went to my wound care doctor, and found out I have Pseudomonas, a type of skin infection common to those who have had surgery and have open wounds for long periods of time. It is similar to a Staph infection, in that it is always on our skin, but it doesn’t necessarily grow unless there is an opportunity, such as a weakened immune system after surgery. 7 days of antibiotics and away we go…

Sarah did very well in surgery. She is sleeping well through the night and getting up and moving as best as she can during the day. The pain gets pretty bad, but hopefully, every day gets a little better for her. THANK YOU to everyone who has sent her well wishes and flowers and emails. You are appreciated!

It’s been nice to know that Sarah is with her Grandma while recouperating and we don’t have to worry so much. After work, Lindi and I head over there, have dinner with the family, spend some quality time, and then she and I head home to sleep. Last night, Lindi’s brother and sisterinlaw brought over the new baby, so we all had some special time together which was really really nice. Tonight, we are going out to dinner, then her mother is going to show me an easier crocheting stitch so I can get my baby blanket’s finished for Tre!

I am thinking of planning a Spring Party in May, sort of reminiscent of the Spring Fling days we used to have. Granted, we will not be up til 2 am drinking wine coolers, but I am sure we will get our fair share of partying on!

I attended the committee meeting for my 15 year class reunion. Wow, lots of work to do, but I am excited to do it. I am looking forward to getting with people I have seen in so long and checking in – those I’ve lost touch with and truly miss. I’ve already secured two donations to the raffle (THANKS DENISE AND DEE!) and hope to get more soon.

Monday's The Day

Sarah was wheeled into surgery at 7:30 this morning. She is expected to go home around 2pm today, and we will be hunkering down at Grandma's House until Friday. We spent the weekend cleaning and getting ready to basically not live at home for the week and spend all our time elsewhere. The kitties will be happy with that, I am sure, they love to run the house.

We spend some good quality time with Lindi's family on Saturday at her Aunt's 50th birthday party. They had a beautiful buffet, drinks, music, dancing - it was wonderful! Plus we had the added bonus of her crazy relatives to keep the party going. I tried Crown Royal and Coke for the first time, and paid for it the next day. Argh.

I heard from Scott again, he is jonesing for some correspondence. Please drop him a line over in Iraq, he would love to hear from anyone, especially the single ladies.

Still learning how to crochet. Tre's Baby's blanket is coming along, albeit it is small enough for the Pixie's rats instead of a human baby, but I will keep at it!

Speaking of Tre, she had a recent post that dealt with the bloggers falling off the face of the earth. I think I've commented on this before. I have noticed almost a blogging trend where blogging goes in "cycles." One minute, you are driving home, thinking about the fun things you can put on your blog, the next minute, you don't update your blog for a couple of months.

I think it depends on the reason for your blogging. A lot of bloggers use their site as an online diary, and some use it to express themselves creatively. If it's the latter, rather that the first, you tend to blog in spurts, lose your steam, find it again and start blogging. Some bloggers will stop blogging if they feel it's not worth their time to update, as no one reads it.

As for me, I will keep blogging as long as there is something to say. And I have a feeling I will always have something to say.

Mmmmmmmmmmm.... Violence

Last night was Video night at our home, as we were all a little exhausted from our workdays. We slipped in the newly purchased “Elektra” starring Jennifer Garner. Now, I am a sucker for “X-Men” and “Daredevil” and all those comic-related movies, mostly or the action, but also for the inevitable eye-candy that comes along with the genre.

Trust me, Elektra delivers both in spades. While I could probably gaze at Jennifer all day long, the movie did have a plot, albeit predictable, and some supporting cast that was pretty interesting. Dr. Kovac from ER (Goran Visnjic) was Jennifer’s love interest and I couldn’t quite get over that casting, even if he is a hottie. I kept expecting someone to jump out and yell “STAT!” The girl who played Abby (Kirsten Prout), the 14 year old prodigy, was adequately annoying, but surprisingly very good in her action scenes.

The bad guys, referred to in the movie as “The Hand,” features some interesting characters that I enjoyed immensely. Stone, large man that nothing penetrates, Tattoo, an overly-inked individual who has the ability to call upon the images on his body to become real. Typhoid, as her name would suggest, kills anything she comes into contact with – plants, people, inanimate objects… and add to it that she’s a hot mama who tries to give Jennifer a death kiss pretty early in the movie, yeah, it’s a good thing.

The Main Bad dude, Kirigi, was perfect. I wouldn’t change a thing. He had a choirboys face and sweet moves to match. The actor, Will Yun Lee, I hear was a martial arts master before becoming an actor. It shows.

All in all, I give it 7 Jennifer-Ass-Kicks out of 10.


Could have been a stronger movie in plot and dialogue, but Jennifer Garner is just… well… every lesbian’s fantasy.

Crap

Sarah has bad knees. We all know this. Two years ago, she had a scope on both of them, and she's been okay since then... Until last week, when she fell off the bus when her left knee gave out.

We took her to the surgeon, and he said she would need to have another surgey, where he will split the tendons and wrap them on each side of the patella to keep it in place. He said we could wait until the end of the semester and plan it for the summer. Two good things about that - I can put her on my insurance (and pay full price for it) and she would be covered 100% for everything including Physical Therapy, and she can keep her 3.5 GPA without worry of missing school.

Plans changed this morning when she fell down the stairs at school, while wearing her knee brace, and we got a call from the Principal.

So, her surgery is scheduled for Monday. She will probably stay with her grandmother for a week, since Grandma and Grandpa are retired and their house is fit for a girl who has just had surgery... ie: No stairs. I don't like her being away from us, but the U won't let me take time for a child that is not biologically mine. She certainly can't be alone. Argh. I am glad it is her grandmother, though, I know she will be taken care of very well.

Her principal will work with her teachers and see about getting her a home-schooling tutor while she is laid up. Ahhhh, the benefits of having such a good student that the principal doesn't want her grades to slide, either!

Pray for us all, we will need it!

Wonderful Day

I feel like a weight has been lifted, I am having a great day, full of success and can't wait to take on the evening. It's weird. I haven't had such a great day in sooo long. I have a couple of major projects at home I want to accomplish tonight and I am raring to go!

So, I am back to work full-time and throwing myself into work. I am learning to crochet - baby blankets - so I have something I can do during breaks that truly takes my mind off of work... beside the fact that my Godbaby is coming soon.

Just a quick blog to let you all know I am well, and will write something more later this week.

And to my wonderful Wife, this is for YOU!

Faith In You/Steve Wariner

If you were the sun
And one day you lost all your light
And you disappeared
I'd stand in the dark all alone
And wait through the night
I'd feel no fear
I might not know what to do
But you'd shine again like brand new
I've got that much faith in you

If ever the lights were to go out between us
If ever the raindrops should start to fall
Should the winds of distrust ever rock our foundation
I know we could weather it all
I might not know what to do
But I do know we'd make it through
I've got that much faith in you

And if you were the moon
And one night a big black cloud
Came and covered your face
I'd stand in the rain
Like a statue tall and proud
Till the clouds blew away
I might not know what to do
But you'd make the rain roll on through
I've got that much faith in you

If ever the lights were to go out between us
If ever the raindrops should start to fall
Should the winds of distrust ever rock our foundation
I know we could weather it all
I might not know what to do
But I do know we'd make it through
I've got that much faith in you

Roses for the Wife

I decided my wife needed roses today, if for no other reason than to tell her how much I love and appreciate all she does for me. This is the arrangement I chose, and they did the roses in red, which makes me happy, because she's not really a "pink" kinda gal. She is so good to me, taking care of me while I've been sick, and being so patient with my many mood swings. She really is the best part of my life, and I love her dearly.

Today is good for a Friday. I have another dr's appt in the afternoon, but then the afternoon is all mine, to spend with my family. Lindi and I are going to pay off some bils and maybe we'll catch a movie later. I am looking forward to a nice, caliming and relaxing weekend.

Thoughts out to my Catholic friends regarding Pope John Paul's health. I hope he passes quickly and quietly. He has served his church well. May His Memory Be Eternal.